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    amnjut4ever's Avatar
    amnjut4ever Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 21, 2007, 01:15 PM
    I'm so insecure
    OK well I have been in a relationship for a year and a half now. And everything is going GREAT! But I have an issue of my own... I am very very insecure and it had effected out relationship t. I always tell him don't look at girls and he said he don't but everyone keeps telling me that every guy looks at girls. And he told me that he loves the way I look and he don't have any desire to look at anyone else and I do trust him I just am so afraid that he is going to lust after another woman and wish I looked like her... and I have tried to ignore girls in the stores and walking down the street but I can't because I don't want him looking at anyone but me... What do I do?? :confused:
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #2

    Jul 21, 2007, 01:21 PM
    You need to relax.

    As far as looking at other people it is natural. It is normal and you need to stop giving him a hard time about doing it. Even if he is not. Looking at another women is completely different then being with another women.

    He is with you. Only you. So if he looks at another women why should you care, he is with you. Hope this Makes sense.

    Joe
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #3

    Jul 21, 2007, 01:35 PM
    Okay, even he flirts with other girls, he is the ONE that comes home to you , he is the ONE that lays next to you and he is the ONE that talks to you about all his sceret.
    I, am a girl, honestly, I look at hot girls too,LOL. It's out nature to look at beautiful things.
    I unserstand what you feel about it completely, but hey, if you try to warn him about"not looking at other hot girls" that will make things worse. Be confident, once you are confident about your look, you are looking good!
    As long as you make sure that you man is not constantly talking and looking at one certain lady either he works with or spend time with other than you, then there shouldn't be any problem.
    Have a big heart, you sometimes have to tolarate a little bit, all of us suffer from this,LOL.
    rockerchick_682's Avatar
    rockerchick_682 Posts: 496, Reputation: 72
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    #4

    Jul 21, 2007, 01:50 PM
    Well you look at hot guys when they pass by too right?
    He loves YOU and he wants YOU, so don't worry about it
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #5

    Jul 21, 2007, 06:58 PM
    I agree with the others. You need to lighten up here ; otherwise you'll push him away and lose him forever.
    Sam86's Avatar
    Sam86 Posts: 12, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Jul 22, 2007, 02:38 PM
    I'm a guy and by experience I know that even if a guy looks at another girl, maybe because she's sexy or whatever, it doesen't really matter. He told you he loves you didn't he? It takes much more than looks for a guy to love a girl. U 2 have been together for a long time, I don't think that he will dump you over another girl if he stayed by your side this long. Just be yourself and don't vory too much about it. Love is beyond fizical atraction and this is the same for guys. If u accord too much attention to this issue and nagg him continuausly about it he might get annoyed and then you will definitely loose him. Just chill and let him know how much you love and treasure him, if he feels the same then there should be no problems. Say to urself: "If he betrayes me then he doesen't love me enough and i deserv better" :p... be yourself and relax
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    Jul 22, 2007, 07:48 PM
    If you need help dealing with your insecurity, then by all means do so.
    serena6878's Avatar
    serena6878 Posts: 94, Reputation: 10
    Junior Member
     
    #8

    Jul 22, 2007, 08:08 PM
    If he only looks at you when walking, he might fall along stories.
    Wish you happiness with him:)
    ashley90392's Avatar
    ashley90392 Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    Feb 8, 2009, 05:40 PM

    I have the same situation. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year, and I get so jealous thinking that he looks at other women or when he talks about how hot a celebrity is. This always makes me feel ugly and fat, like I'm not good enough. I really feel insecure, but then if you really think about it, I'm sure you do the same thing. I look at attractive men and attractive women. I look at anything that will catch my attention. It doesn't mean I want to marry that man, it just mens I'm looking at him. With celebrities, I just remember that they're a fantasy for a guy and they're never really going to have a chance to spend time with the celebrity they think is hot. And if you really think about it, if he actually loves you, he's not going to leave you for some girl he checks out on the street. And if you're insecure about your looks for this, don't worry. He's starting falling for you because he thought you were beautiful and that won't change. And what's on the inside is much better than what's on the outside anyway.
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
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    #10

    Feb 8, 2009, 06:53 PM

    I would recommend going to counseling for this. If not for the sake of your relationship and this obviously very patient man you have, then for yourself, this will continue to affect your life adversely until you deal with it properly.
    Lovelee's Avatar
    Lovelee Posts: 150, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
     
    #11

    Feb 8, 2009, 08:34 PM
    I realized that nothing is wrong with looking at someone attractive it means he's human. My boyfriend looks at other women all the time but doesn't do it in an obvious way, however almost everyday he tells me how beautiful I am so it feels good. HE is the insecure one and I got to tell you it can be quite frustrating so I kind of understand if he becomes a little annoyed by it. If other areas in your relationship are solid then you need not worry.
    mintah50's Avatar
    mintah50 Posts: 46, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member
     
    #12

    Feb 8, 2009, 09:19 PM

    Stop being SELF INSECURE! Also who cares who he looking at he suppose to be with you! He with you for a reason not them.

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