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    BrooklynCadilac's Avatar
    BrooklynCadilac Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 28, 2016, 09:36 PM
    I'm so CONFUSED I need Help
    Hi I'm 19 years old female and I used to have this history teacher last year and I had a major crush on him and still do. So he's been acting weird around me since last year. For instance I would catch him staring at me MANY TIMES during classes or after including this year, and once when I looked over at him, he never turned around, he just kept staring. He helped me 3 times during tests. One of my friends saw him staring at me while I wasn't aware. He got very close to me a couple of times like he would invade my personal space. He even checked out my chest once. He's would never yell at me and he would pick me every time I raised my hand. I saw him staring at me with one of his colleagues twice. He would tease me on rare occasions and my classmates said that I'm probably his fave students because he treat me differently.

    All of this is weird because he's not a pervert at all. I've never heard another student saying that he checked her out or acted inappropriate towards her. Anyway he stopped teaching me this year but he still stares at me quite a lot and I would actually stare at him too and because me and my friends are 100% convinced that he knows that I like him. But a couple of months ago I got sick of all this "staring" game so I completely stopped looking at him and then a month ago this new teacher comes and apparently he asked her out many times even though she rejected him because she was in a relationship but then this Friday I was holding roses in my hand and he came over to me smiling and he said that for me (as a joke) and left (even though all my classmates had flowers and he could've gone to them and most of them were his students last year), but I wasn't expecting it so I didn't say anything to him I just laughed.

    Anyway I need help I'm really confused and I can't understand him.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Mar 28, 2016, 10:36 PM
    You may well just confuse a teacher teaching, they make eye contact (or should every day, every class, often) they should be watching your body language to see if you are paying attention. This may be misunderstood, if you have teachers who don't care or are not trained to interact with students.

    Joking and teasing with students is a teaching style and is done often.

    But the issue is, why does it matter, if he did like you, he is a teacher and he knows, and you should know the boundaries.

    Just let it go, don't worry what he thinks, don't worry if he is interested or not. And just do your school work.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Mar 29, 2016, 12:36 AM
    It's pretty simple: he's attracted to you but can't do anything about it, because the school prohibits romantic relationships with students.
    He's realistic, so tried to date another teacher.
    Maybe when you are done with school you can tell him that you remember him staring at you, and laughingly ask him if that meant anything. Or better, hand him a single flower, and say "Remember when you asked if the flowers I was holding were for you>"
    BrooklynCadilac's Avatar
    BrooklynCadilac Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Mar 29, 2016, 07:49 AM
    Just to clarify things I'm not planning on doing anything about it just like you said I'm just going to concentrate on my studies. But I do see him 5 days a week so I can't avoid him or the things he does & all this has been going for a year and half plus it affects directly so at this point I'm just trying to understand
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Mar 29, 2016, 05:57 PM
    There is nothing to understand because nothing can happen between you, so stop the fantasy drama with this teacher and ignore him. All he can do is stare because you are a student, and he is a teacher, but obviously he is human, and attracted to you, even though socially you are out of bounds.

    Obviously you feel attracted to him too, because you stare back, but you and your friends have made this a game, since you decided to share this drama with them. That's pretty typical of a group of girls in school, to build a drama around a teacher that one of YOU likes. Leave it at that and understand it's your own feelings (with plenty of help from your friends), that is causing your confusion.

    Quite simply you dream of more, but cannot do more. Sometimes feelings are like that, intense but confusing, when you cannot not act on them, nor should you. Just share them with friends and dream on.

    It's tantalizing but leaves you a bit helpless doesn't it?
    BrooklynCadilac's Avatar
    BrooklynCadilac Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Mar 29, 2016, 11:15 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    There is nothing to understand because nothing can happen between you, so stop the fantasy drama with this teacher and ignore him. All he can do is stare because you are a student, and he is a teacher, but obviously he is human, and attracted to you, even though socially you are out of bounds.

    Obviously you feel attracted to him too, because you stare back, but you and your friends have made this a game, since you decided to share this drama with them. That's pretty typical of a group of girls in school, to build a drama around a teacher that one of YOU likes. Leave it at that and understand it's your own feelings (with plenty of help from your friends), that is causing your confusion.

    Quite simply you dream of more, but cannot do more. Sometimes feelings are like that, intense but confusing, when you cannot not act on them, nor should you. Just share them with friends and dream on.

    It's tantalizing but leaves you a bit helpless doesn't it?
    Very. And what frustrates me is that when I stop staring at him he should take that as a good sign and just le me be, but no he comes and asks me if the flowers were his after not speaking to each other for months.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Mar 30, 2016, 05:43 AM
    Let it go, or you keep this drama alive in your mind. Trying to figure out why people do what they do is a good way to stay confused. You don't have to play this mind game anymore. Guy's of any age do the dumbest stuff to get a females attention.

    You ignore him if you truly want nothing to do with him, and these small incidents no longer have importance, especially if you took it as a joke in the first place. Ask yourself why are you still dwelling on it? Once you can answer the question for yourself, you probably won't be so confused.

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