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    sabrina001's Avatar
    sabrina001 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 5, 2013, 04:18 AM
    I'm scared he might cheat!
    We been together 2 years, we are engaged. We love each other. Before we got together he was tipsy and had a one night stand at a house party!

    Reason I'm worried is my ex had slept with my ex friend that broke my trust!

    And the main thing is my fiancé. I'm scared what if he has a one night stand again he says he won't cause he got me. But when he drinks again what if he does have a one night stand? I'm scared of the trust I'm trying to build here breaking again! Please help.
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Mar 5, 2013, 04:40 AM
    If you don't trust him. Then you shouldn't be marrying him.

    Plain and simple.
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #3

    Mar 5, 2013, 06:47 AM
    Exactly what was said before me... if you are that worried about trust, this should not be the one you are marrying.
    sabrina001's Avatar
    sabrina001 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Mar 5, 2013, 08:44 PM
    I love him its me I don't know what to do? I will be single forever if I don't learn to trust again its all because of my first ex!

    I really love this guy want a future with him. I know he really loves me his cried wenever I cried his been there for me through good and bad its Oryt when he goes out and doesn't drink but I get scared when he drinks I want him to stop! Should I make him choose?
    LittleBlackKat's Avatar
    LittleBlackKat Posts: 152, Reputation: 14
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Mar 5, 2013, 09:09 PM
    Don't be too dramatic. I seriously doubt you'll be "single forever" as you put it. But you have to ask yourself this : Would you honestly prefer marrying and staying in a trustless and broken marriage? Already this relationship is causing you mental and emotional stress.

    We all keep learning as we go along, and I get that you are scared because of what happened with your first ex, but you can't honestly "make him choose". He is a fully grown man and he is capable of making his own decisions as are you. Sit down like two adults and talk it out. If worst comes to worst, you may not be ready to marry.

    Tough to hear, I know, but this is the reality of the matter.
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
    Ultra Member
     
    #6

    Mar 6, 2013, 04:55 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by sabrina001 View Post
    I love him its me I don't know what to do? I will be single forever if I dont learn to trust again its all because of my first ex!

    I really love this guy want a future with him. I know he really loves me his cried wenever I cried his been there for me thru good n bad its Oryt wen he goes out n doesn't drink but I get scared wen he drinks I want him to stop! Should I make him choose?
    If you loved him and wanted a future with him as badly as you say you do. Then you wouldn't be here asking for advice.

    I can bet there would be a line up of guys that would love to make you happy and treat you right. You just need to believe in yourself and go find them.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Mar 6, 2013, 06:03 AM
    Before we got together he was tipsy and had a one night stand at a house party!
    He had a one night stand BEFORE you got together. Has he cheated since?

    Reason I'm worried is my ex had slept with my ex friend that broke my trust!
    You also say you feel this way because of an ex, but that had to be more than 2 years ago, right?

    Its not him that has to make a choice, its you. You are making him pay for the actions of another. You came into this relationship with old, unresolved hurts, and have never let them go, or healed enough to see what YOUR issues are. Do so now, or it will be poisoned by the past.

    Frankly it already is and you want the current guy to feed that fear instead of you dealing with it? That's NOT fair.

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