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    charamiie's Avatar
    charamiie Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 29, 2010, 07:47 AM
    I'm in a relationship but I love my ex
    I've been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for two years but I'm still in love with my ex boyfriend
    I think about my ex everyday, I have dreams about him nearly every night. When I think about him I feel empty and I miss him being around.
    I know I have such a better future with my current boyfriend
    But I can't get over my ex boyfriend
    I don't know whether its love or strong feelings
    I'm so confused
    We secretly meet behind my current boyfriends back only occasionally at college or parties
    But I sometimes even wish that my current boyfriend is my ex
    And I know its wrong
    I feel horrible
    I don't know who I should be with
    Or what I should do
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Jul 29, 2010, 07:56 AM

    I think you should be alone for a while, maybe a long while, to sort these feelings out. Mentally, you aren't there with your current boyfriend and that isn't fair to you and especially to him. Do yourselves both a favor and end this relationship before another two years goes by.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #3

    Jul 29, 2010, 08:12 AM

    Your future may be better with the new guy, but not if you are cheating behind his back with the old guy.

    If you were really serious about the new guy, which you are NOT, then you would have stopped contact with the old guy, and got over it, instead of keeping the fires burning, by being a lying, deceiving, selfish cheater.

    Boy this ex sure brings out the true nature within you. Hope the new guy finds out, hope you tell him, so he can pursue a healthy relationship, with a healthy person, and not be lead on by a liar.

    But what do you care, since you have both fools any way!! :rolleyes:
    martinizing2's Avatar
    martinizing2 Posts: 1,868, Reputation: 819
    Expert
     
    #4

    Jul 29, 2010, 08:14 AM

    So you do or do not love your current boyfriend? From what you do I'd say.. not much.

    Is the ex currently in a relationship also? I'll bet he is.

    And the two of you run off and cheat only occasionally at college or parties.
    Does that somehow lessen the fact that your are cheating, most likely destroying two other people in the process.

    Love is a strong feeling that you should have figured out before you led the current boyfriend down a two year waste of time and effort and emotion.

    As for who you should be with and what you should do...

    My guess is you will end up with neither.

    The ex is most likely using you for sexual chills and thrills with no commitment or relationship hassels.

    What to do about the (bright future) current boyfriend?
    Here is where you can make a good decision and do what's right.

    Tell him.
    Then let him decide on a truthful basis if he wants to spend his life with you.

    You have made a very bad situation for yourself and the outcome looks bad.

    You know what you were/are doing is wrong and the possible consequences . Here they are
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #5

    Jul 30, 2010, 08:31 AM
    I think you need to grow up.

    Why can't you control yourself.

    Part of life, and part of growing up, is realizing that mistakes are going to happen. You may forever regret breaking up with your ex, but, you broke up with him! It was over, when that happened.

    He may now seem to be some shining knight riding in the moonlight on a sandswept beach with his muscles rippling in the reflection of the tropical waters. He is no longer the pimple faced boy tripping over his own feet and eating with his mouth open.

    In other words, you can put any sort of spin on who he is now that you like. He could even be George Cloony with buldging pockets of money (and other things... ahem), and has such charisma and oh those eyes! To melt for!

    But the point is, you need to grow up. He was in your past, and other than the odd daydream, he has to remain in your past. Accept that you made a mistake in letting him go (if you did), and realize that adults make mistakes. You also have to learn to live with these mistakes, even if you regret it for the rest of your life. Suck it up, and move on.

    In the meanwhile, you have a boyfriend, who does't have a clue that you have begun a relationship with another man, one from your past. He trusts you, and you deceive him. He believes you when you say you're going out with your girlfriends, while you put on a happy face that covers up the fact that you just spent an hour shaving your legs, and putting on your makeup, in order to look your best for 'the other man'.

    Try to control yourself, and if you cannot, then let the decent man without a clue as to your real identity, go. Give HIM a chance to find someone who brings only a future to a relationship, not a future whist dragging an old boyfriend into the mix.

    Three people in one relationship, never works out. Pick one, and move on.

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