Check out some similar questions!

mi mi · Feb 3, 2009, 04:58 PM

Wow I know he's a loser this should be a open and closed case right! Well its not! We had 3 years in he's was my best friend we definitely can talk about everything and relate on so many levels he just lazy he won't work and waiting for the "big payoff". Me on the other hand will work my fingers to the bone. We broke up... my mom says yeahhh... but I miss my friend we tried being friends but it doesn't work for him. I want my friend I miss him dearly but he is a loser. What do I do? Do I just give up and miss him or try later to make the friend thing work?

peacekeeper4u4 · Feb 3, 2009, 11:08 PM

If you really feel strongly enough to break up with him because you think he's a loser, even after you've been friends for 3 years... do you mind if I ask why you want him back in your life, friend or lover? Friends I've had for 3 or more years, we may see differently on things but I don't think of them as losers. If it were me and I thought he was a loser, I would want to move on and associate with people I truly liked and respected. Besides, how can you really be that good of a friend if you think your friends a loser. I lost a lot of my friends from high school because I was tired of not doing anything with my life, doing drugs and being a bum and my friends had no problem with continuing that lifestyle. That's not to say it didn't suck and I don't miss them occasionally but when it really comes down to it, it's not so bad and I'm better off having moved on. Good luck to you in whatever you decide.

talaniman · Feb 4, 2009, 03:54 PM

What do I do?

You have already done the right thing by breaking up.

Do I just give up and miss him

That's exactly what you do, and in time you will heal, and move on.

You will heal if you have no contact with him until you. Then and only then can you think of being friends, so LEAVE HIM ALONE, and rebuild a life that makes you happy, with new friends.

It will hurt for a while but the pain, and misery will fade in time.

Alty · Feb 4, 2009, 03:58 PM

You really have to move on. Nothing can be gained by looking backwards, it's time to look to the future, and he may not be a part of that.

You can't make someone change, and it seems like he isn't ready to change for you or anyone else, least of all for himself.

You made the right choice, now you have to accept it and move on.

friend4u178 · Feb 4, 2009, 05:35 PM

Being friends at this point won't work as you will probably end up drifting back in and out of the relationship.

Cut all ties and then when you are fully over him you can think about whether you really need him as a friend , chances are you really won't need his friendship then anyway.

roxypox · Feb 4, 2009, 06:14 PM

Alty, Tal: had to spread rep.. But good posts!

As the others have said... you can't change someone, and he doesn't want to change. So your decision to move on is the right one. And of course it is painful to let go of a friend and a boyfriend, but sometimes we just have to do that to move forward in life.

Like friend4u said: what you need to do now is to heal and take care of yourself. ;) no.1 priority!

And I've been in your shoes.. i.e. being with someone who has the power to make something of themselves (B/C we all have that power, we just have to be willing to do the work that it takes to get to where it is we want to go.) But then we have to watch them just do nothing about it. LOl or to watch them have NOTHING as a goal in itself.

So even though you miss him as a friend, you'll just have to break the tie and start healing and on the moving on.

Why Am I Here · Feb 5, 2009, 07:58 PM

I have to say hun from experience, being with a loser will just be miserable.

I got with my "best friend" who is a loser by the way. Things were all colored rosy pink in the beginning but the relationship went on and soon after I became pregnant. We tried to keep our relationship going but as badly as I wanted him to grow up, or believed he would change... he never did. He's still a loser and doesn't seem to want to make anything better of himself, not even for his child. Now I'm miserable and I want to get away. I'll be done with my degree in about a year and God willing making great money and will finally be able to get away from this man that is a part of every regret I have.

Move on, move up and move forward... I beg you! Only do what makes you happy because ultimately... THAT'S WHAT MATTERS! Good luck!