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    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #1

    Jun 26, 2007, 01:54 PM
    If I am so wonderful, why am I still single
    Dear everyone,

    Can someone please help me with this:

    I am an 23 year-old asian american, 5'4 130 pts with a beautiful face and cute figure.

    I attended a very good university, double major in Civil engineering and Accounting with an almost perfect GPA. I speak three languages with lots of traveling expereince.(english as second :P)

    Outgoing, ambitious,basically capable for doing most of the things on my own. I have good friends and I help people anytime I can.I am very active on campus-the Vice President of Student Body, Chairman of Engieering Society, the President of Accounting Club.

    I only been on only two dates in my entire life, once each. Both of the guys are intelligent guys too. Both of them said to me that I was beautiful, wonderful,perfect, but neither of them wanted a second date with me.


    Thank you in advance. I really think I try hard in everything in my life. I don't know how to flirt with guys because I am a good girl. Other than that... I think I got everything that a guy wants.

    P.S. I am against sex before marriage and take things very serious and very dedicated at school and work. And if that is why they don't like me... I feel really sorry about the messy world now!

    Thanks again!
    asking's Avatar
    asking Posts: 2,673, Reputation: 660
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    #2

    Jun 26, 2007, 02:11 PM
    I will be interested to see what other people tell you. I think I used to be a bit like you, although my test scores weren't as high and I was never a homecoming queen! I think guys maybe want someone who is less smart than they are, plus I think they like girls who flirt. I am caucasian, but when I was in school all my friends were Asian American and I pretty much acted like them. I worked hard and didn't flirt, put myself down. I thought that was the way I was supposed to act, modest. But I don't think it helped me much. I am much older now and feel that because so few guys were interested in me, I ended up marrying someone who picked me instead of someone I picked. Don't do that! (I'm divorced now.) You should pick the one you are interested in and maybe be more aggressive. Ask them for a date yourself. Think of something you'd like to do anyway and ask if they'd like to come. Or invite them to go with a group of others if that feels comfortable.

    Recently, I went on a few dates through a dating site and one guy I went out with told me he didn't think I was interested. I was really surprised that he thought that. I realized that he expected me to flirt. So the very next time I went out, with someone else, I forced myself to flirt and got instant interest and THAT guy has been calling me constantly. I hate to say it, but I think it was just me flirting on the first date, which I'm not used to doing.

    Anyway, I'm no expert for sure, but those are my thoughts based on my own experiences. Good luck!

    PS. Definitely don't play dumb. You need to find someone who will love you for your brains, not be intimidated by them or feel like he has to persuade you that you are not that smart.
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #3

    Jun 26, 2007, 02:17 PM
    Aw... thank you so much. I am outgoing though, doesn't it help at all? How to flirt? I dress very nice though.
    Guys all stare at me, but how come they don't ask me out?
    I was told I was perfect by many people, I don't think I am perfect all I know that is I try hard in life and I am a smart person.
    Thank you , I won't play dumb, I know to find the right one!:)
    GOod luck on your dating too!
    Capuchin's Avatar
    Capuchin Posts: 5,255, Reputation: 656
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    #4

    Jun 27, 2007, 05:21 AM
    Come to England, we need more girls like you :p
    incognito's Avatar
    incognito Posts: 92, Reputation: 24
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    #5

    Jun 27, 2007, 05:36 AM
    One word, "intimidating." Of course you have all the attractive qualities that most look for, myself included. But I would feel so damn intimidated by all your achievements.
    Are people who say how humble they really being humble? It's kind of oxymoronic.
    I am sure you aren't as boastful as some would be in your position, but you've listed all these accomplishments like a RESUME.
    To me, that's only part of the relationship deal, it also depends a lot on WHO YOU ARE, not WHAT YOU'VE DONE. I like someone who is down to earth, someone who loves to laugh and make me laugh, someone I can trust and depend on... etc.. etc.
    You sound like a very good person and I wish I had more girl friends like you, don't worry, you will find someone, just don't rush the process or you'll end up with a jerk who doesn't deserve someone like you.
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #6

    Jun 27, 2007, 05:58 AM
    I have a great sense of humor, but seems like the better I am trying to be, the worse chance to get a date. Oh by the way, I am against sex before marriage, is that also why guys not interested in me? I will stay the way I am without a doubt. Anything wrong to have strong morals and all such?
    Thanks
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Jun 27, 2007, 06:01 AM
    Be patient and keep doing what your doing and the right type of male will come your way, you don't have to settle, but you can find your own happiness, and someone will be glad to share it.
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #8

    Jun 27, 2007, 06:26 AM
    Thank you for the comment and advice. :)
    I have been patient all the time, but once in a while, I get frustrated... if you were me u problly will do the same!
    Thanks
    rehaan's Avatar
    rehaan Posts: 2, Reputation: -1
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    #9

    Jun 27, 2007, 07:55 AM
    hi

    I think u should just take a chill pill.who soever z made for u will value u.
    therz nothing to be sad about this that no guy goes datn wd u.trust god and b as you are.
    no need to prove that you are wonderful n pure.

    f u'll try n think this way your lif will b much easier.

    yours truly
    rehaan
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #10

    Jun 27, 2007, 08:24 AM
    Thanks, I hope my life is easier too. But I like to be the best as I can, just different views.
    SOme people are happy about who they are now, some are not. It's my way of working hard to be the top and I won't take chill pill at all. :)
    Thank you though
    lmnotok's Avatar
    lmnotok Posts: 217, Reputation: 37
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    #11

    Jun 27, 2007, 10:31 AM
    Hey, you know what you are lack of??
    You need to RELAX, yes, relax. Almost everyone can see your ambition because you are showing it to them. I don't mean that ambition is bad. What I mean here is PPL only see ambition in you and other good characters are eclipsed. That's called imbalance. Everyone is afraid of being with imbalanced person. Maybe you are not so imbalanced but the way you behave/act/do/talk... shows them it.

    So to repair this, you need to relax yourself 1st. Then things will come to you surprisingly :D
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #12

    Jun 27, 2007, 10:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by lmnotok
    Hey, you know what you are lack of???
    You need to RELAX, yes, relax. Almost everyone can see your ambition because you are showing it to them. I dont mean that ambition is bad. What i mean here is PPL only see ambition in you and other good characters are eclipsed. Thats called imbalance. Everyone is afraid of being with imbalanced person. Maybe you are not so imbalanced but the way you behave/act/do/talk... shows them it.

    So to repair this, you need to relax urself 1st. Then things will come to you surprisingly :D
    PPL only see ambition in you and other good characters are eclipsed". That makes so much sense! But I really didn't tell people about it, I don't talk like that... I am just writing it as a statement, let you analyze what is the problem. I am a humble personT.T
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #13

    Jun 27, 2007, 11:05 AM
    I think the bad guy and the good guy are intimidated buy you because I think they feel you are too smart for them and what can they talk to you about and the nice guy is to shy to approach. But if you are attracted or interested in someone just ask him out. What do you have to lose.
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #14

    Jun 27, 2007, 11:14 AM
    But those who did ask me out but I have rejected are either socially awkward ( don't get it that I have high standard) or jerks( that if they will ask any pretty girls out... can be my friend tomorrow). How come there is not a single normal, high queality guy?
    Thanks
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #15

    Jun 27, 2007, 11:34 AM
    I think another thing is if most guys don't get that vibe that you are interested in them they won't ask for a second date. When on a date and had the vibe she wasn't interested, later I found out she was. So maybe if your interested at end of night give them that vibe you are interested.
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #16

    Jun 27, 2007, 11:39 AM
    what is a vibe please? SAB123 ^^
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
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    #17

    Jun 27, 2007, 11:50 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
    what is a vibe please? SAB123 ^^
    Vibe=Feeling something... Letting that person know you interested in them.
    tatek2006's Avatar
    tatek2006 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Jun 27, 2007, 11:55 AM
    This is not the only problem that is intitled with you.men like me have also serious problems like you and I want to say you that it is only time that can decide good things for good people like you .I am sorry for what you faced anyway!
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #19

    Jun 27, 2007, 12:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by SAB123
    Vibe=Feeling something......Letting that person know you interested in them.
    Hm... how? I don't know how to flirt... ^^ I feel it's bad to flirt,, just can't do it.
    I mentioned like " you look nice with the shirt"... :P what would u suggest me to do?
    Thank you!:)
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #20

    Jun 27, 2007, 12:11 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by tatek2006
    This is not the only probelm that is intitled with you.men like me have also serious probelms like you and i wanna say you that it is only time that can decide good things for good people like you .i am sorry for what you faced anyway!
    Do you mean women don't like you because they are intimidated by you as well? What is your situation then? :)
    Thank you

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