Please people, I need ideas on forgetting someone. Too depressed
Right now. Can't sleep. Do not want to use prescription drugs.
How do I go about?

Like fredg told me in my thread.
You should go out and meet new people, get them into your system. Im not sure what has happened to you, but I'm going through the same thing.
But as I said.
Meet new people.
Try to write everything negative about the one you're missing on a papper, might help you realize something.
Look at things in a positive way, accept what has happened and be happy from what you've learned :)

Good luck

Hi,
The other answer before mine, is very good advice. Forgetting about anyone takes some time and is not easy.
A comparison is: If you have a favorite pet, one you love very much, like a cat, or dog, and something happens to it, it is a very bad time. The best thing to do, after a little while, is to get another one!
It took me a couple of years to get over my first love, many, many yrs ago. I finally did, after meeting new people. But, you are the one who has to make the effort. People aren't going to come to your door, saying "you want to be friends?"
Make the effort, and get out into meeting others. Eventually, your life will be much, much better.

It is never about what you can do to forget about someone. It just takes time. Sometimes going out and meeting someone new might help. I still think about my ex everyday (its been almost 5 months since the breakup). I think time is the key here. There isn't a quick fix (I wish there was).

Yup, time heals everything... meanwhile try the following for starters...

- renew your interest in long forgotten favorite hobby of yours
- start a new hobby that can keep you occupied
- remove everything that will remind of the person/situation from your environment
- actively try to meet new people, meet old friends, visit relatives, etc..

All of the below posts have good advice. I just want to add that there is no way we can forget anything, our brains are not structured that way. We can deminish the hurt by replacing it by starting anew and creatig new memories. But there will always be memories of the past as well and this depends on how we handle them. So, as one said, there is no quick fix, and no wonder drug.. Just go on with your life and work hard at your goals and keep busy - and by all means meet new people in new places that will not remind you of the past every time you turn around. Do not stay at home feeling sorry for yourself and rearrange the surroundings that you both shared. Do everything possible to keep those memories from popping up. It is true about the saying that 'time heals'. I wish you all the best in this healing process.
Go out and make some new memories and pleasant dreams...

Hello robin :)

(I was trying to respond to the post you just deleted, here is what I was going to say to that one)
I am actually in the same situation you're going through, except my boyfriend is in your situation and I am in the girl's situation. Although, it isn't as long distance as your relationship (we live closer than another country away - we live an hour long bus ride apart). I actually met my boyfriend in a similar way online, and everything happening in your situation has been happening in mine. The side you didn't see, which is her side, is probably that she has separation anxiety and a different idea of what love is and how much attention she should be getting from you. She seems like a hopeless romantic who is confused because she loves everything about you, but may feel you don't express your admiration for her enough. She may feel that you weren't giving her enough attention, yet admires your stability, loyalty, and caring. Another thing that might be confusing her is she may think she will never meet anyone who's handsomeness and stability matches yours. Although you both may not realize it yet, you are probably very different in the way you think and the needs you have - remember that opposites attract, because in some certain situations it is true and you may not notice it, even though it is right under your nose! She may feel you were not sharing enough of yourself with her (your hobbies aside from the ones you both share, for example) and it might have made her confused and closed off from you. She wants to be heavily admired.


I have a few questions:
Is she very creative/sensitive/positive?
Are you very logical/reserved/sometimes pessimistic (because of things that have happened to you or you are afraid might happen to you)?

If you tell me about her as well as the things that attracted you to her I might be able to clarify why she acted the way she did. Also, if you tell me about the things you shared of yourself with her, I might be able to give an even better response because right now I am in the same position she was in... it might shine light on how my boyfriend feels and help me as well. I've been confused on what to do for the past 4 months and I've broken up with him 2 times over that time. I truly love him and I don't feel ill find the love and stability that comes from him ever again, but I feel like he just doesn't show his adoration the way others have, which is what I'm accustomed too. These changes are hard to adjust to.


I don't think you have to forget her like everyone else is telling you, that may just hurt her more and make her think she's being proved right (she's stubborn with what she wants probably). I can help you understand her confusion if you tell me about your similarities and differences. Maybe after the arguments she felt like you didn't really fix the problem completely ( because she felt you didn't fix it in her ideal way), maybe she felt misunderstood. Were your arguments reoccurring?

There are many factors, but I really feel like I can help because I'm going through the same situation in her position.

I came to a realization also:
Things take time. If you do love her, save your love, don't forget it, but don't rush things. Maybe one day in the future she will conclude that you really both are completely right for each other. Give her time. And don't worry about time yourself.


"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with."

Also, I read this and it made me feel a lot better.
I hope it will help you too :)


In philosophy, freedom often ties in with the question of free will. The French philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau asserted that the condition of freedom was inherent to humanity, an inevitable facet of the possession of a soul and sapience, with the implication that all social interactions subsequent to birth imply a loss of freedom, voluntarily or involuntarily. He made the famous quote "Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains". Libertarian philosophers have argued that all human beings are always free — Jean-Paul Sartre, for instance, famously claimed that humans are "condemned to be free" — because they always have a choice. Even an external authority can only threaten punishment after an action, not physically prevent a person from carrying out an action. At the other end of the spectrum, determinism claims that the future is inevitably determined by prior causes and freedom is an illusion.


You should feel free, instead of dwelling on what you want that isn't available right now. It might also make her feel more loved and less pressured if you feel this way.

Find a hobbie to take your mind off them and eventually you'll be 2 busy to even think sbout them :)