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dkh4863 · Jul 16, 2006, 07:02 AM

I have been seeing this guy for 8moths . We were pretty steady. I really feel he loves me. He has been hurta lot by woman.. so he keeps saying he don't want any comiments yet I hear a lot of stories about him falling in love with his ex wife agai and hew had been seeing her for a while now. He quitt seeing me for 3 weeks said it wasn't me and I didn't do anything. Its him. Then fir he called me and came and stayed wit me all nigh. It was awsome. He held me so ice and was so so sweet. Really great. Yet he was with he all the next day?? He told his friend that he wwas falling for his ex. Then he called me lat night again. Very upset wouldn't tell e why but that he didn't want to hurt me. I fould out him and her had a fight. THIS IS KILLINGMY HEART!! I LOVE HIM.
HELP!!
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?:(

He also told me how I was the only one he has slept with but is he lying??

Cassie · Jul 16, 2006, 07:41 AM

Whether he is lying or not about sleeping with someone else, he is certainly seeing someone else, that probably means sleeping.

Do you really love him, or do you love having him around. It sounds as though he does not love you, he is using you. No one deserves to be used. You need to pick up where you were at before you met him 8 months ago.

Jay_Jay · Jul 16, 2006, 07:52 AM

It sounds like the dude wants the best of both worlds ! He want to eat all the cake and share none. You should try being straight with him and asking him what the HELL is going on.

One of the hardest things in the world sometimes is to Accept the truth and see what's going on. Don't let yourself be used or let this guy hurt you any more, try telling him the way you are feeling and see if he will open up and be Honest with you.

Communication is a very big MUST in any Relationship

dkh4863 · Jul 16, 2006, 08:17 AM

I have done allof the above and don't know were to go now?? I DO LOVE HIM? WHY??
Maybe because of the end of a 25 year merrage when I met him and he is so so sewwt??

JoeCanada76 · Jul 16, 2006, 08:19 AM

It is time for you to say good bye. Let him know that your done and that you do not want this anymore. Move on, you can find somebody better. For the meantime, all my advice that I have given others is straight. Focus on your career, your family, Focus on doing something for the community. Volunteer. Spend your time keeping yourself busy. When you least expect it, love will hit you like a ton of bricks and it will be a good experience for you. Does not mean it won't be diffulcult at times because all relationships have ups and downs but at least in the meantime you lived your life and not waited desperatly for something, because when your waiting and waiting it would take forever to happen.

Joe

cabcab · Jul 16, 2006, 08:25 AM

GET OUT!!

NOW!!

He's playing w/you

Jay_Jay · Jul 16, 2006, 09:07 AM

Originally Posted by dkh4863

i have done allof the above and dont know were to go now??? I DO LOVE HIM?? WHY????
Maybe because of the end of a 25 year merrage when i met him and he is so so sewwt???????

We can all love another person, but that does not always mean that they are going to love us back in return.

IMO it does sound like he is playing games with you.

valinors_sorrow · Jul 16, 2006, 09:37 AM

He is either playing you or is terribly confused and desperately insecure. Either way bodes poorly for whomever is involved with him unless they are equally as desperate/insecure or a player too. Then maybe it will be understandable and tolerated. Look at this whole picture and ask yourself if he is really available for a real relationship. I don't think he is - anyone ending a 25 year marriage needs a good year at least to get their head and heart straightened out without being involved with anyone. So now you get to ask yourself why you fell in love with someone so unavailable? That is the real engine to this and the one question I think is really worth answering. I don't mean to sound harsh but probably its not him killing you, but rather its you. I hope that helps.

Cassie · Jul 16, 2006, 10:17 AM

Originally Posted by dkh4863

i have done allof the above and dont know were to go now??? I DO LOVE HIM?? WHY????
Maybe because of the end of a 25 year merrage when i met him and he is so so sewwt???????

Sweet is not sleeping with you and spending the day with his X the next day.
sweet is not sleeping with you after a fight with her.
Sweet is not breaking up with you and then coming back to share only your bed.
Sweet is not using you.
I do not mean to sound sharp, but facts are facts.

dkh4863 · Jul 16, 2006, 01:10 PM

I think its so hard because of his words and actions when were alone
Thanks everyone

I also am so depressed over this.al I do is wait for his call and cry.. Ohmy do I cry.
I was starting to feel better and then Friday he called and we met and it all came right bsack. I felt him feeling the same but?? I don't know I guess I'm going CRAZY

talaniman · Jul 17, 2006, 05:08 AM

This dude is so confused and he is confusing you! Break this off and let him get himself together while you do the same. You are in love he is not. Trust me true love doesn't hurt like that. This relationship is unhealthy for you both!

Wildcat21 · Jul 17, 2006, 07:40 AM

Yeah - I'd move on. It sounds basically like he is using you.

valinors_sorrow · Jul 17, 2006, 07:48 AM

Originally Posted by dkh4863

its so so hard though..all i do is think about him. I think im in depression because of this.

It may be you are obsessing because deep down you are afraid this was your one and only shot at love and happiness. And this is what you need to fix. That kind of "junko logic" will keep you trapped in the anguish.

Change the channel, get some help, read some books on the topic, learn the lesson. Suffering to this degree may be a choice you are making, in which case you can choose differently. Get busy - you have a lot to do here. :)

Those who are a victim of self aren't really victims.

Wildcat21 · Jul 17, 2006, 09:01 AM

We get a lot of this on this site.

People putting too much importance into another persn - that they really don't know. A person who reall yDOESN'T care about them.

dkh4863 · Jul 17, 2006, 10:53 AM

I text messaged him and put an end to the pain... well kind of... I toldhim to remember the old saying If you love someone let them go.. here is what you want. GOOD BYE. Your forever in my heart but the pain and tears are too much and all for someone who doesn't love me. Have a great life. See you
How was that?? How did that sound to you all?
Hugs and thanks

Jay_Jay · Jul 17, 2006, 11:40 AM

I think you have been straight to the point !

Hey he has to get what your saying there clear. But you also have to mean the words that you have text him too.

It is hard when you break up, but you need to take each day as it come's and keep yourself busy !

Wildcat21 · Jul 17, 2006, 11:58 AM

I like it. Now stick with it. If he responds - I wouldn't respond for a while.

Jay_Jay · Jul 17, 2006, 12:03 PM

Originally Posted by Wildcat21

I like it. Now stick with it. If he responds - I wouldn't respond for a while.

I agree IMO screen your calls and texts etc ! Don't have him calling you in the early hours of the morning and coming around. Stick to your guns.

JoeCanada76 · Jul 17, 2006, 01:13 PM

Good Job!!

momincali · Jul 17, 2006, 02:18 PM

This guy doesn't respect you and that is the foundation of true love. Put this one in your past, move on and don't look back, selfish wish-washy guys like that will only hurt you time and time again, you can count on it. As far as it hurting you, I'm sure it does, but those hurtful feelings fade away if you let them, or they can linger there and infect your whole life tearing away at it a little at a time if you hold on. This person has nothing of value to offer you. You had a good time, at what price? Your dignity is worth more than that. Don't allow him back in when he starts shedding those crocodile tears, you know he's not being sincere. And for the record, I don't really believe you fell in love with this guy who used you, I believe you were infatuated by his fake sweetness. Don't fall for it again.