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    jerrycrizzel's Avatar
    jerrycrizzel Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 29, 2008, 11:04 PM
    How to win back the girl of my dreams
    I was with the girl of my dreams for about 2 years. We started dating right after graduating from High School and it was love at first sight. Her previous boyfriend turned out to be a real jerk and an eventual stocker, aka one of my best friends. Now I know this sound horrible, like I stole my best friend’s girl from behind his back but that is not the case at all. In fact no one really knew they were dating and when I starting hanging out with her he freaked! She was so scared that he would do something stupid and I was there for her. She thought of me as her protector and that’s exactly what I did. I kept her away from the guy, who had turned into a stalker. It’s an awful situation that I would never wish on any girl, none would deserve it. At the end of summer we started college life. I stayed in town and she moved 800 miles away. It sucked and everyone thought we would breakup within a few months of being apart, even I had my doubts. Being that far away from each other we talked everyday and I visited her at least once a month. We made it a whole year in a long distance relationship, without faltering, which is extremely rare and we had a stronger relationship than ever because of it. With plans of marriage and children in the future we were inseparable. She even left the school she was at to be with me. She changed my life and I vowed never to let anything happen to her. We have gone through pretty much any hardship you could possibly imagine in our relatively brief time as a couple, and I really mean that. She was and still is the love of my life.

    Not too long ago we started to become sort of distant. Not hanging out as much, mostly because I had to work all the time. And eventually she decided that we should take a break. This scared the hell out me! I was constantly thinking about what I did wrong. I had never cheated on her; I didn’t even look at other girls in that way anymore. I have always treated her with the utmost respect; listening to what she had to say and doing things for her without her having to ask, I would do pretty much anything she would ask and defiantly anything for her. As this “break” went on I felt that things may be getting a little better and then she dropped the bomb, “We should just go our own separate ways for a while and see what happens.” Now obviously I was heartbroken and shocked and admittedly I have done pretty much everything you are not supposed to do in the post-breakup situation, including; texting her all the time and really just not giving her the space that she needed. The problem is we work in the same building and I see her every day. Now don’t get me wrong I love seeing her everyday but it’s hard at the same time because I know that things just aren’t the same.

    I see and talk to her almost every day, I mean how could I not we work 30 feet away from each other! And the kicker is every so often she kisses me. She kisses me in a way that blows my mind, how could she not still have some feelings for me with a kiss like that? - I would think to myself.

    I think about her constantly, I can’t get her out of my head and I have found that I really don’t want to get over her. I want her back so bad that I am willing to do just about anything to make that happen. If it means space then I’ll give her space, if she wants me to change something about myself then so be it. The main thing is that I want is for her to be happy, hopefully with me but if it turns out that it is with someone else then of course I will be heartbroken, but if she is happy, and truly happy then that’s all that really matters.

    What should I do? How do I get her back?
    ylaira's Avatar
    ylaira Posts: 1,193, Reputation: 118
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Jul 29, 2008, 11:32 PM
    Im a girl so I'll advise something cheesy and corny. If I were her, Id love to see a little sorry and ILUVU note, a flower (not the bouquet) and little stuff toy on my desk. Then wait for a result in a month the most. If she has another guy, just forget what I said.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Jul 30, 2008, 05:54 AM
    You need to go No Contact with her, she is toying with your emotions and the longer you allow it to happen, the longer you will delay moving on and healing. Stop contact with her, or keep it short like a simple "hello"
    plonak's Avatar
    plonak Posts: 742, Reputation: 117
    Senior Member
     
    #4

    Jul 30, 2008, 11:40 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Romefalls19
    You need to go No Contact with her, she is toying with your emotions and the longer you allow it to happen, the longer you will delay moving on and healing. Stop contact with her, or keep it short like a simple "hello"

    Yup, give her the space that she asked for.. don't allow her to kiss you anymore and tell her that this is what she wanted. She can't have her cake and eat it too.. and this might be the push that she needs to get back with you.. but in the meantime you need to move on and heal and pursue other people so you can get well again. If she doesn't go back to you, well then she wasn't the person for you. And You will find that person that you're meant to be with, just have faith.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Jul 30, 2008, 12:30 PM
    This thing is over, and a kiss doesn't mean its going to start over again. Hard to move on, when she is right there everyday, but you must. Get a life besides her will you, or miss any other opportunity that may present itself.

    A great kiss is not a relationship, so cut it out, she is using her female charm on you, so don't fall for that.
    tolerance's Avatar
    tolerance Posts: 78, Reputation: 11
    Junior Member
     
    #6

    Jul 30, 2008, 12:49 PM
    Note: It does not matter what you do to try to win her back, it still might not work because you can't get back someone who don't want the same. Move on and it might be a good thing that you see her, it might be tougher, but in the long run it will made you a lot stronger.

    It's nice you willing to do whatever possible to make yourself happy but what about someone doing the same for you in return.
    enigmagnetic's Avatar
    enigmagnetic Posts: 333, Reputation: 45
    Full Member
     
    #7

    Jul 31, 2008, 02:35 PM
    Hey Plonak, how you doing cutie? Everything good hmm? Everything all right, need a massage?

    Ahem ahem, OK onto Jerry umm listen my man, I'm going to be straight forward;

    First, when a woman takes a break its one of two things, either she's saying to herself "I need to see if I can easily break up with this guy, I need to test the waters", which is usually the case, or "I need to get myself together and figure out my priorities", and that is very rare and only comes from someone who is stable, and mostly emotionally healthy. I will emphasize that the latter is extremely rare, and more often than not a "break" is a way to soften a break up and nothing more.

    Second, you need to stop lying to yourself and think about YOUR emotions and not just hers. All this crap about, "oh I'll be happy as long as she is happy even if it means she's with someone else" is mostly meaningless in the end. The truth is this is likely to singe your soul and make you angry. That's a fine and perfectly normal reaction. Stop being in denial about how you truly feel. Look inward, you know you're hurt that she left. Feel that emotion, remember she's the one subjecting you to that pain!

    Third, you think about her constantly because you work with her! The only way you're going to cut that out is if you leave that job. You're young enough, you can find another job, say peace out and take a walk.

    Finally, she's basically having her way with you. Putting you on the chopping block and asking you to wait patiently is a bit sadistic if you ask me. You need to quit kissing her immediately, I know instinctively this seems schizophrenic to do, but she's basically treating you like a lap dog, have some self respect. All women need MEN. Be one. Stand up for yourself and say "lookie here hunny, I'm not gonna kiss you while we are in limbo, I'm not that easy hunny, you left me, therefore you can't have me whenever you want, remember this is YOUR decision. Your either with me or not... I care about you lots but you are playing games hunny be a woman and make up your mind." then walk out with a CONFIDENT gait.

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