I have never asked any questions on a forum like this before but I've come to the conclusion that any advice I can get on my issue would be super helpful. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 3 years, 2 of those years he wasn't serious about me since he was still seeing and trying to work things out with his ex. I had broken up with him countless times during those 2 years but we always got back together. Finally the relationship he was carrying on with his ex ended for good and we became very serious. I had never seconded guessed his love for me over the past 3 years, even with all the issues we've had, and even with our current issue I don't question his feelings at all. We moved in together about 8 months ago and things are fantastic. I have a 5 year old daughter and he has taken to her as his own, my family loves him (I have yet to fully meet his), my friends like him, all around its pretty much everything I could ask for. Over the course of the past 6 months we have been having intimacy issues, I have a very high drive where as he has a low one (this is new from moving in together). We have had many discussions about it and tried to figure out why he is no longer interested in sleeping with me. The other day after a few too many drinks he came clean with a lot of things that he has been keeping in. A few things I understand and a few things hurt a lot. He said the main reason he is no longer interested in having sex is because we have the rest of our lives to do it so if he doesn't feel like it that night he doesn't see why we need to do it. His reasons for not wanting to do is usually that he's too lazy and masturbating has the same outcome so he would rather do that. When we were talking I told him that is not a good reason because it makes me feel like he doesn't care about my wants and that masturbating does not have the same outcome at all because he's not pleasing me. I don't mind if he masturbates don't get me wrong but when we go a week to 2 weeks without being intimate and he gets himself off 2-3 times a day I have a problem with that. He mentioned that his ex had told him one day that he would never be happy with one person and being in a routine and he said that he feels she was right. He assured me that he wants nothing more then to be with me forever but that the constant contact we have and me asking to have sex every other night is making him crazy. I don't mind not talking to him during the day while at work or running errands but the problem is when I do this when I get home he is very distant and usually ends up spending all of his time in the bedroom. I have no idea what to do, it feels like its slowly becoming a passionless relationship to what feels like loveless relationship, more of a friendship since we don't even kiss anymore (not even pecks on the cheek). There is no way to get the whole story across in a post and I know that most people would say just to leave him but we do really love each other, I just want to know if anyone else has had issues like this and what they did to overcome them. I just want to have a happy family again where we talk and go out on dates and I want to know that he wants me without having to feed him alcohol to lower his walls. Any advice is fantastic

He got you to the point where he can take you for granted, so now he can be selfish. Either live with his boring rut or tell him that you want more in a relationship so you need to work out a compromise you both can be happy with

Agree, he is happy, and does not want to change, he will have to be forced to change, or you need to move on