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MEO13 · Feb 7, 2010, 07:11 PM

I've been dating this guy for about 11 months now & were both 20. There's times when it seems like he's controlling because when I'm not with him he wants to know what I'm doing & who I'm with all the time. Plus he checks my cell phone to see who I text & call. I've been faithful to him since day one & I tell/prove it to him all the time but it still doesn't seem like he fully trust me. I mean don't get me wrong he's a good man... he's always there for me, he conforts me when I'm upset, & he reliable & I love & care about him a lot. However most of my friends & family hate him because he's likes to be an to everyone but me & his friends. He also has a really bad temper when he's pisst. Many people have told me that I should brake up with him but I'm kind of afraid to brake up with him because of his temper. I mean he's never physicly hurt me or any other girl but I've been his longest relationship so I don't know for sure what he'd do if I brake up with him. So is he controlling & should I just stay with him or try to brake up with him??

talaniman · Feb 7, 2010, 07:55 PM

I wouldn't be with any one I was afraid of, or who didn't trust me. He is too insecure for my taste. But hey, that's just me.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 7, 2010, 07:59 PM

What do you think he would do if you picked up his cell phone to check to see who he has called ?

A long relationship that is bad, is not worth anything

If you are afaid of him, you don't or should not be with him

amicon · Feb 7, 2010, 08:38 PM

He sound like a controlfreak.
He's also got a bad temper.
Too many red flags!
Time to walk away.

Wondergirl · Feb 7, 2010, 08:58 PM

Some time earlier in his life, someone has done the same thing to him, probably a parent. He wasn't trusted, and he doesn't know any other way to be. I actually feel bad for him.

Is there some way you can steer him into counseling, maybe by saying it's for you to learn how to please him better, and you will need his input? Or start with a counselor yourself, and have the counselor invite him for some sessions.

If he doesn't get this worked out of his system now at this young age, he's going to have only failed relationships throughout his life. He is also headed toward being a physical abuser. Let me know if you want more info about the counseling itself and how to find something you can afford. (I'm a counselor and know stuff.)

dlg87 · Mar 9, 2010, 02:33 PM

Don't listen to all these guys,if he's good to you stay.I've got a bad temper and I've been with my girl for 4 yrs I started with the parinoid reading text though and call logs but that's just because he cares about you young girls are crazy so are guys but ,that's his was of making himself comfortable get his phone when he gets yours it'll bug them but should turn it into something to laugh at later

Wondergirl · Mar 9, 2010, 02:42 PM

Originally Posted by dlg87

I started off with the parinoid readin text tho and call logs but that's just because he cares bout

It has nothing to do with his caring about her. It has everything to do with his insecurity.

And it's nothing to laugh about now or later.

chickie543 · Mar 9, 2010, 02:45 PM

I am getting the impression you do want to break up with him, but your to afraid because of his temper. Think about that. You are going to keep on feeling like this until you do breakup with him. It's like a band-aid you just have to do it. If you are really scared for your well being, make sure to not be completely alone in a house or something while you do it. Keep us posted. Best of luck.