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    RNM's Avatar
    RNM Posts: 61, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #1

    Oct 29, 2011, 11:18 AM
    How to take it slow?
    Hi,
    I just met this guy about a week ago and we met up yesterday. We had a great time together, but I felt like he was pushing it a bit too much, so told him we should take things slow. Also, because we both like each other so far, and we agreed we don't play games. But, since I told him we should take it slow, maybe I feel he got offended, he said usually its him who says that to the girl. Before I said this to him, he had said we should hang out together tonight or tomorrow night and make dinner together. But then suddenly after I said we should take it slow, he was like okay I'll just see you around then, we will keep in touch. So why did he react like this? How long should I wait to see him when we just want to take it slow ?

    Appreciate any responses!
    DaniCalifornia's Avatar
    DaniCalifornia Posts: 655, Reputation: 152
    Senior Member
    		  
    #2

    Oct 29, 2011, 03:29 PM
    Taking things slow is simply respectable, so he shouldn't take offence to you saying that at all. If you like someone enough, you'd wait for them. If he gives a suggestion you don't like, for example this dinner date, give your own option. He reacted that way as he took it that you're not interested at all. Tell him something like "I'm a bit busy for the next few days, how about we go out next week?"

    X Dani
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Oct 29, 2011, 04:11 PM
    Most likely he was hoping for a sleep over or at least sex after he fixed you dinner. If he plans had nothing to do with taking it slow and building a relationship, taking it slow is not what they want to hear.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Oct 29, 2011, 04:22 PM
    Don't be so smitten by someone and assume he feels the same. He is just disappointed he didn't get what he wants NOW, and what you want to go slow with.

    Your instincts to slow things down was correct, and now if he doesn't have an interest in getting to know you, then he won't call. That's great, because you were not ready for what he was pushing for.

    He wants you to pay for your dinner with your body.
    RNM's Avatar
    RNM Posts: 61, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
    		  
    #5

    Nov 3, 2011, 08:05 PM
    How can I break the awkward silence and get through to him ?
    Hi,

    I have been having this fling with this older guy, about 8 years older than me. But it is still awkward between us. I really want to try to get through to him and talk with him because I do like him for some reason. We don't really talk that much with each other, but we are attracted to each other. How can I break the awkward silence and get through to him ?

    Thanks.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
    		  
    #6

    Nov 3, 2011, 09:11 PM
    By holding off on the fling stuff (i.e. physical stuff) and actually sit down to have a conversation. A good way to do it is to go to a neutral setting like a coffee shop so that you two can be in an environment which facilitates discussion.
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