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    ballinger92's Avatar
    ballinger92 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    May 8, 2012, 08:38 PM
    How should I handle my girlfriend talking to her ex?
    I am a 19 year old currently in college and dating a 17 year old in high school. We have been on and off for almost two years now. We finally are back together for good this time and seem to be madly in love with one another. Her parents let me stay the night at her house and we basically live together as well. We don't get into too many arguments, jut over little things. And her ex!

    She has always been a flirt and likes attention from guys. This is normal for her and she has never cheated on me. But right before we got back together for good, she was dating her ex and she really liked him a lot. Now that we have been together for a month, I tell her I want her to have nothing to do with him, but she ignores me almost and does it anyway. I am deeply in love with her and I feel like if I let her go she will go back to him temporally. It's hard for me to try and get over the fact that she still secretly likes him, because she told me she does not too long ago. I do not like her talking to him at all and I'm trying hard to not be too controlling either because I know that pushes girls away. I Just feel like since she still likes him she might end up cheating on me.

    I'm just wondering what I should do? And how should I approach the situation? Or should I just wait it out until she actually does cheat on me?

    I know that she might be keeping him on the back burner, just in case she and I don't work out. Or she also still likes him lustfully, but is actually in love with me. Because no matter what she wants to be with me over anyone else. But if she really loves me, why can't she just stop talking to him? This is really the only relationship problem we have and it hurts me to know that she still likes one or her exes and sees him once in a while at the school they both go to.
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
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    #2

    May 8, 2012, 09:46 PM
    I have been in a similar situation. This is how it goes down. You don't like her talking to her ex and you told her that, that only makes her want to be with her ex more! People like doing things that other people tell them not to do.

    She is keeping YOU at the back burner and not the ex. Your jealousy will only draw her closer to her ex. Not to say that your jealousy is entirely the problem, if she'd cared about you she would respect you by not talking to her ex. Essentially, you should have never gotten back with her especially when she still has feelings for her ex.

    I am going to give you an advice that you probably won't like. You do not know that she loves you. You are not her. I would recommend you leave this situation while you still can and move on with your life.
    ballinger92's Avatar
    ballinger92 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    May 9, 2012, 07:10 AM
    That is something I did not want to hear. Lol but she only has less then a month left at school, and she'll be with me the entire summer. Do you think she will ever get over her ex? Or will this problem always be? I don't really want to make any final decisions just in case she does change or decide what's really important to her.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #4

    May 9, 2012, 07:39 AM
    She has you hanging on a string and does not respect your feelings. She wants to keep you both and that is not fair to you or her ex.
    I think you should call it quits.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    May 9, 2012, 08:03 AM
    Listen to the older guy, NEVER worry about other guys, and NEVER ever worry about what a female may, or may not do.

    For sure, NEVER ever tell her what to do. Be confident you will handle whatever life throws at you, and enjoy, and appreciate what you have now!!

    Deal with things that REALLY happen in your life, and don't be afraid of what COULD happen! In this way, you don't poison the relationship with undo feelings and impulsive bad insecure behavior. That's no fun. Nor does it instill confidence of others in you.

    Deal with your feelings and don't project them to others.
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
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    #6

    May 9, 2012, 01:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ballinger92 View Post
    That is something I did not want to hear. lol but she only has less then a month left at school, and she'll be with me the entire summer. Do you think she will ever get over her ex? Or will this problem always be? I don't really want to make any final decisions just in case she does change or decide what's really important to her.
    Do you want to be with her even though she has feelings for her ex?

    I don't think she will get over ex as long as you are in her way. I think this is going to be a vicious cycle. You should step out of her life, and if you are the one she truly wants, she will come looking for you. If you are not, at least you had self respect to step out of the way and not let her string you along.
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #7

    May 9, 2012, 03:52 PM
    Just be confident in yourself, keep working on your relationship, trust your girlfriend and everything should be OK. If for whatever reason it is, then you can always break up, and find someone who shares the same sentiments you have for them, but do not worry about this one, especially since there is really nothing you can do.

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