Hi, I need some help, I have been in a long relationship with my fiancé, I love him very much, we have been high school sweathearts. In the beginning of our relationship ( we were still in school) I went to the movies with a family friend (we have grown up with each other and only dated for a week-we said it would be better to stay friends) anyway, I went to the movies with him and his friends ( I tought there will be some of his other girly friends) but they were all male friends, well th eproblem comes in that my fiancé thinks that I cheated on him! And that I had intentions... but I mean I was still in school an thought nothing wrong of it for I only went to the movies and to be exact that was more that 5 yeasrs back and we are still struggling with it... AND I NEVER CHEATED ON HIM! I know that what I did in the past was wrong and that I broke the trust etc, and that I have to build it, and I told him that I will and I appologized for everything.. I am really sorry, and I can't take the constant accusing and hurtfull words, the fighting etc...

He is constantly thinking that I cheated on him in the past, and he wants proof that I did not, wich I don't have, I have offered to go for a poligraph test but he doesn't want me to go for it...

I need help, how can I proof to him that I have never never cheated on him!

If he has problems with trusting you, even though you have been honest with him, then I think that you need to ask him if he really trusts you or not with the things that you say about what you have or haven't done. If he says that he's not sure or doesn't, then I think that you need to seek out some of the other guys that might be available for dating.

If he is not trusting after such a length of time, then why keep "raking yourself over the coals" in order to keep up some kind of relationship with him. He really may not be the man for you.

Trust is paramount to a relationship being successful. What you may have done in the past that you regret doing, is in the past. You could say to him that you are ready to move on into the future and let the past be the past, that you have learned that what you did was wrong and would he please let you move on with a future for the both of you without the issue of cheating on him in some way always being brought up? If he says "no", then I think that you need to move on for your own sanity.

No need to go to extremes with someone like taking a polygraph test, if they really trust you.

His trust issues may even go beyond what he is presently letting you know. This may be just the "tip of the iceberg".

Hopefully, others will also be along to address your question.

You went to a movie 5 years ago, with school mates and that's cheating?? If you tolerate that behavior now, it gets worse later.

Those are the kinds of things you get over and forget. He clearly has issues, and you clearly let him make you the guilty party.

Not a good sign for the future as this will get much worse. Nip this in the bud, and do not let him do this to you.

Wow.. 5 years and he is still holding this above your head? You need to tell him to drop it or leave, every time you do something from now on this will be tossed in the argument, can you handle that?

What the? That the craziest thing I have ever heard. 5 years, I think he more afraid that one of his friend did something with you and he some how has that in his head. It that irritated feeling. It like he want to believe you but he doesn't and it hard for him to let go so he just keep accusing you and one day your just going to say I did it. It like being a parent and your kids want candy he'll just keep repeating it and your going to give up and say take it.

Actually, this is already out of hand. You needed to punish his insecure behavior 5 years ago. The punishment? Deprive him of your company. That's it. That's all that works.

Now that you've stood in this pointless insecure storm of his for 5 years, he's USED to hearing you apologize for something you didn't do. Now, he fully expects submissive apologetic behavior from you anytime he aims insecurity and distrust in your direction.

You understand all this? You do see that it is your fault he's gotten away with this? This is like parenting and it's not something you can avoid if you want a peaceful life.

When someone throws weird at you, you yawn, hand it back, and say "not my problem". If they toss it at you again, you firmly reply, "not my problem, and this is your last warning...cut it out or I'm gone." If they do it again, you hand it back a third time, wish them well with their "issues"... and walk away without apology or pointless anger.

I know that's hard because after 5 years you think this has to be "lived with"... well, it doesn't. And he may snap out of it. But not unless his weird behavior costs him something. It may need to cost him you. The only way he may ever get over it is to lose you and realize it was his fault, and not make the same mistake with his next girl.

I know it's harsh to realize, but he may never stop this behavior with you. You've trained him it's OK, so it's natural for him. If you walk away, he may get it. If you let him come back later, he will slowly slip back into his old ways. He will.

I'm sorry, but unless you are willing to live unhappily ever after with him, if you REALLY want him to do better, you may need to point out his insecurity as unacceptable and walk away... for real. You may do him a GREAT service by loving him enough to do that.