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    needtobesmart's Avatar
    needtobesmart Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 16, 2011, 01:04 PM
    How much time will it take to get full control on myself
    Hi,

    My girlfriend left me after a 3 year long relation. Because she thinks someone else love him more then what I do or did. I got messed up completely. Now I almost lost interest on all the things. MY mind fluctuates a lot. One minute I don't want to talk to her and feel she did wrong to me. And on the next minute I feel it's all my fault and I feel too low. It has been more than 2 months and I still think of her. I tried to think about other things started to do new things but all things seems to come at one place. Today is her Birthday and I didn't/cudn't wish her. Because I know she will be with her new boy friend and my call can mess up her party.
    But what should I do. I know how much I luvd her. I had thought sorry we had thought almost about full life together. I was following my plans to be with her and now when she left, I am forced to come back where I started.
    It hurts the day she left me, the same day she was with someone else. I agree I can't face her or her boyfriend. I never felt so weak before. And that's a ugly truth that I don't want to see her happy with him.
    Why my mind is getting dirty... How much more time will it take to recover, recover from the thought that I Love Her and She loved Me.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Apr 16, 2011, 01:24 PM

    Break- ups are always hurtful,but at some point you must make a conscious choice to start moving forward and rebuild your life.

    Keep busy,do things you enjoy doing and be with people who care about you.

    You will get over her,with time and patience.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Apr 16, 2011, 09:32 PM

    If she had a guy the next day then she was probably cheating, or at least laying the foundation to leave, but since you are doing other things and trying to rebuild, then keep doing that because its probably just the fact its her birthday and you are not there to share is what's getting you especially down.

    These feelings are pretty normal, given you were together so long, and they will fade, if you stay busy through this with friends and activities you enjoy.

    You just have to hang in there and keep doing what you are doing guy, and don't quit on yourself.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Apr 16, 2011, 09:40 PM

    Break ups suck. I mean they suck. If it makes you feel better you are not alone. Everyone posting here and quite honestly, most everybody on the planet has gone through this at least once. Here's the deal, things will continue like this for some time and then you'll start to think less and less of her. Eventually you'll get that thought, "Hey, I haven't thought about her all day or for a couple days." Eventually they fall to time like everything else.

    It's easy and common to focus on her pain, especially with her new guy, but right now do everything you can to focus on your happiness, including what you can be happy for today, Don't say nothing either, you can be happy for sunsets, the ocean, the northern lights, dogs, my very existence, good food, that favorite movie scene, cats, a family pet, whatever. You can find something to be happy for and for yourself. Start focusing on that.
    needtobesmart's Avatar
    needtobesmart Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 25, 2011, 09:04 AM
    I took a step and stop talking to her. Because now I always felt low and even could not talk to her properly. Yesterday night she called me and started weeping and asked me why I did not wish her on her birthday. I pretended to be strong and call could last for not more than 2 minutes.
    And I started to feel weaker. When she tells me happily about her then too I feel weak and when I listen her weeping, I got again feel weak. It was really tough to not call her on her birthday, I know how I counted the time on that day and I could not tell it to her.
    I am running in a confusion if she still loves me and wants me to call her back or nothing can be OK the way it could have been.
    Am I really being too hard. As I don't call her and try to avoid her call as I feel pain which sucks me more after talking too her.
    I leave me to think of a point what should I do. Is there something I can feel is right to do.
    needtobesmart's Avatar
    needtobesmart Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Apr 25, 2011, 09:05 AM
    Comment on chuff's post
    I took a step and stop talking to her. Because now I always felt low and even could not talk to her properly. Yesterday night she called me and started weeping and asked me why I did not wish her on her birthday. I pretended to be strong and call could last for not more than 2 minutes.
    And I started to feel weaker. When she tells me happily about her then too I feel weak and when I listen her weeping, I got again feel weak. It was really tough to not call her on her birthday, I know how I counted the time on that day and I could not tell it to her.
    I am running in a confusion if she still loves me and wants me to call her back or nothing can be OK the way it could have been.
    Am I really being too hard. As I don't call her and try to avoid her call as I feel pain which sucks me more after talking too her.
    I leave me to think of a point what should I do. Is there something I can feel is right to do.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
    Ultra Member
     
    #7

    Apr 25, 2011, 09:42 AM
    Action...

    Quote Originally Posted by needtobesmart View Post
    I took a step and stop talking to her.
    :mad:Result...

    Quote Originally Posted by needtobesmart View Post
    Because now I always felt low and even could not talk to her properly.
    Action...

    Quote Originally Posted by needtobesmart View Post

    Yesterday night she called me and started weeping and asked me why I did not wish her on her birthday.

    :mad:Result...

    Quote Originally Posted by needtobesmart View Post

    I pretended to be strong and call could last for not more than 2 mins. And I started to feel weaker.
    Action...

    Quote Originally Posted by needtobesmart View Post
    When she tells me happily about her
    :mad:Result...

    Quote Originally Posted by needtobesmart View Post

    then too I feel weak and when I listen her weeping, I got again feel weak.
    Action...

    Quote Originally Posted by needtobesmart View Post
    It was really tough to not call her on her birthday, I know how I counted the time on that day and I could not tell it to her.
    I am running in a confusion if she still loves me and wants me to call her back or nothing can be ok the way it could have been.
    Am I really being too hard. As I don't call her and try to avoid her call as
    :mad:Result...

    Quote Originally Posted by needtobesmart View Post

    I feel pain which sucks me more after talking too her.


    Question…..

    Quote Originally Posted by needtobesmart View Post
    Is there something I can feel is right to do.
    Answer…. Look at the results and change the action.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #8

    Apr 25, 2011, 12:25 PM

    You need a clean break from her, so stop allowing her to suck you back into misery.

    Man up, and tell her to leave you alone the very next time she contacts you.

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