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    blakernaker's Avatar
    blakernaker Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 19, 2009, 10:51 PM
    How much does Facebook mean in a relationship?

    So I am dating and in love with this girl, but she was in a relationship with another guy on Facebook when we met. When I confronted her about it, she said it was her ex boyfriend and they did it as a joke because some girl was trying to ask her ex out. Later, I asked her to change it, and she said that I didn't trust her. She finally changed it after almost breaking up with me. She said I have trust issues and that trust should come first in the relationship. On her Facebook she also has old pictures with the guy saying, "My guy", but these photos are from 2 months ago. She said she broke up with the guy a few months ago (like at least 5 or 6). Then, I checked her Facebook today and last month (after she visited my family in Los Angeles and met most of my friends), she went on Facebook and wrote to her ex "I was looking for hot guys on facebook and I found you". Do you think I should trust her? She says that her ex and her are best friends and that they hang out a lot. We are doing a long distance thing right now and it is just hard to trust her.

    Basically, DOES WHAT SOMEONE SHOWS ON FACEBOOK REALLY demonstrate what they mean? I would like to think not, but if there is a lot of evidence.. photos, relationships, and comments--what to think?

    She constantly assures me that nothing is going on and they are just friends (really good friends).

    I have seen text messages from her ex that he loves her.

    I love this girl, but she is hurting me. Any advice?
    paxe's Avatar
    paxe Posts: 793, Reputation: 158
    Senior Member

    Aug 19, 2009, 11:26 PM

    I hate Facebook, it doesn't mean anything. It's a stupid invention in order for people to feel their lives is more interesting... You're thinking too much into it. If you have a problem stop looking at Facebook and confront her. Communication is the key.
    friend4u178's Avatar
    friend4u178 Posts: 3,349, Reputation: 1584
    Ultra Member

    Aug 19, 2009, 11:43 PM

    Facebook or not , a Relationship will not last if there are trust issues.

    So you either trust what she's saying or you say you can't deal with it and go your separate ways.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member

    Aug 19, 2009, 11:49 PM

    have to spread my rep paxe but I agree re Facebook.:-(as for relationships -no trust =red flag.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
    Ultra Member

    Aug 20, 2009, 12:00 AM

    I have good friends on line who I truly care about but to have an on line romance seems like a fantasy love life to me.
    I think people can connect to a very real degree on line but... Being in love ,I just question the validity of that.
    Have you met this girl you are in love with or is she just a face book person who plays the field on face book?
    LJDK's Avatar
    LJDK Posts: 281, Reputation: 25
    Full Member

    Aug 20, 2009, 12:33 AM

    People can say what they want, but what's the difference between saying stuff on Facebook and in real life? Nothing to be honest. Its like text messages.
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
    Full Member

    Aug 20, 2009, 04:25 AM

    DOES WHAT SOMEONE SHOWS ON FACEBOOK REALLY demonstrate what they mean?[
    A lot of times they do, I haven't seen many people joke about their relationships on the Facebook yet. I agree with you she should take it off.
    Facebook is only good when you try to connect with your old friends. Don't read too much into it, it can create drama if you are too into it.

    Good luck.
    blakernaker's Avatar
    blakernaker Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 20, 2009, 08:01 AM
    Hi everyone! Thank you for the support! I guess I should just put my faith in my trust for her. She is a trustworthy person, it is just hard for me to trust people in general. I guess I trust her, but I don't trust her ex. I know he still has feelings for her, and when I am not there they hang out a lot. I usually only believe what I see with my own eyes, that is why I think postings on Facebook mean more than words she says to me. Do you think I should even bring this issue up with her? It definitely shows I don't trust her when I question her about it, and she doesn't like it. I image I can hold it in and see what time will tell. I lived in the same apartment complex as this girl for 3 months (we had an internship at the same company). Now she is back at school, and I am going back to my school. We will be separated for a few months (I am visiting her a lot, but not more that 8 days a month). Of course, there is spring break and winter break. After this year, we plan to go to Europe and in the fall she is going business school... and I am applying to Law school at her campus. What do you think? Should this issue be brought up or will it hurt us a lot because of the distance?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855

    Aug 20, 2009, 09:13 AM

    If you can't trust her when she is there with you, I doubt you will when she is not there.

    When people have those trust issues, it usually means they let their mind play tricks on them.

    This isn't about Facebook at all, its about your ability to cope with your own feelings in a positive productive way.
    MsMewiththat's Avatar
    MsMewiththat Posts: 854, Reputation: 136
    Senior Member

    Aug 20, 2009, 09:22 AM

    True what people say that it is best not to read too much into it HOWEVER, I think that Facebook is what someone allows it to be. Meaning: If she is a regular facebooker and posts her daily comings and goings on Facebook and it is an important tool that she uses in her life to update her friends and family as to what it is she is doing than you'd think she should be expected to be accurate in that.
    I would think that if she was really into it she wouldn't want people getting the wrong impression about who she is with.
    I don't Facebook to that degree, but what I have on there is accurate. I wouldn't put on there that I am dating someone that I am not. That is just odd. I think to answer your question you should bring it up. It's how you feel, bring it up and air it out with her.
    Totally true about the trust, so important to trust her. In a long distance relationship part of what you have to rely on is your communication and your trust. Pay close attention to what is your mind playing tricks and what is your gut telling you something isn't right. Being that you are in a long distance relationship it is extra important that she not be playing games with such things as Facebook and old boyfriends, that is just a feeding frenzy for people with trust issues. Talk it out with her.
    Ehler's Avatar
    Ehler Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Mar 19, 2011, 12:13 AM
    Ok for my advice just go tell her who u like that all and if she said she like you and she keep talking to that guy that a lie is all a lie man...

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