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sadnlostedddd · Dec 17, 2009, 03:58 PM

Being the young college student that I am, just out of my first serious relationship, I've done a lot of thinking lately, especially as the break up becomes more and more real to me. But I've figured out where the last relationship went wrong, and what I keep thinking is "oh, that's an easy fix." I feel like the next relationship I get into, if I just change a few things around, it'll be fine. I have two questions:

1. Does it take just realizing where you messed up, to know what you need to do to prevent it from happening again, or do you need to take some time, I guess months, to really figure it out.

2. How many relationships, serious, and not so serious, have you had? It seems that most people on average are getting married (atleast for the first time) when they reach mid to later 20's. So what should I expect between now (20) and then.

Thanks!

talaniman · Dec 17, 2009, 04:46 PM

Making a lot of youthful mistakes, and a few heartaches. A lot of fun too! That's what young people can expect.

paxe · Dec 17, 2009, 05:54 PM

I got 1 "failed" relationship. The reason I use quotations is because it brought me tremendous experience and I'm overly happy for what I received.

I think this isn't your first or your last breakup, we make mistakes or our partner make mistakes or things just doesn't work out as it does. I'd rather think of the future possibilities I could get and what I can do, instead of thinking of relationships. I find it toxic to be in a relationship just because you want a relationship :).

jaime90 · Dec 17, 2009, 06:26 PM

It's good that you are learning from mistakes. I'm not even 20 yet, and I'll be getting married next year. I've had one relationship, and it isn't a fail. I'm glad for you moving on from the break up!

amicon · Dec 18, 2009, 03:12 AM

Every relationship is a learning experience even the 'failed' ones. Don't jump into a relationship,take time to get to know a person and communicate honestly.
Don't settle for Mr/Miss Right now just to be in a relationship-the right person is worth waiting for.

bella99 · Dec 18, 2009, 09:02 AM

All those relationships we have that "fail" aren't necessarily failures because we learn something about ourself, others, and how to deal with other types of people in the process.

It's great when you are able to learn from your mistakes, but remember each relationship is different, so in your next relationship everything could be completely different. Use your experience wisely.

I'm 26 and I'd say I've had 3 serious relationships in my life - I've dated other guys for a few months here and there but 3 of them were more serious. There will probably be more before I find the one I'm meant to be with.

A lot of people are starting to wait to get married until their 30s. People are developing their careers more and becoming more settled adults before settling into marriage. Life changes A LOT between the ages of just 20 and 25, so definitely don't be in a hurry to settle down. You are free to make your own decisions, move where you want, and take the jobs you want now that you are single!

Good luck and no rush!

sadnlostedddd · Dec 18, 2009, 11:44 AM

Thanks for the insight everyone. It's still very hard to picture a relationship with someone else, but I guess I'm still young so I shouldn't be too worried about finding someone else that I really care about. One thing that has been bugging me is when I realize all of the mistakes I made, I get upset at myself for not realizing them while I was with my ex instead of looking forward to being able to be better to my next girlfriend. But I'm definitely trying to look on the bright side of things.

amicon · Dec 18, 2009, 11:54 AM

We all make mistakes so don't beat yourself up. We learn from our experiences and go on to be better people. :-)