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    rockfun's Avatar
    rockfun Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 25, 2011, 02:47 AM
    How to make her convince
    Am going to get married soon ,I don't want to have a child immediately and I want to enjoy my sexual life fully but my wife wants immediately.How I will compromise her and make her to understand myview

    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Feb 25, 2011, 05:47 AM
    Simple - you postpone the wedding until this is resolved.
    'Convince' and 'compromise' are very different.
    'Convince' is one sided. You want two sided understandings.
    What you want is for her to understand your point of view, and you understand hers (and all the reasons for each of you), and then you compromise (hopefully).
    I would sit down with 2 sheets of paper and you each write down what your reasoning is. She may say her age, you may have financial worries. Be specific. Does she work and you are counting on some income from her? Are you going to rent or buy? Is your job secure? How old is she? How many children do you each want? Insurance? Diapers, clothes, car seats; have you googled the cost of a child these days? Will she say she doesn't care about cost? Are you fundamentally different about money?
    And so on.
    rockfun's Avatar
    rockfun Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Feb 25, 2011, 07:26 PM
    Hi Joy,
    Our marriage date is already fixed. She is very much happy with all the things and even there is no age or financial barrier between us since both are in same age group. My problem she is avoiding my talk if I talked about my future sexual life. She is thinking it as a taboo. Any advise on this is really helpful.
    Hamselv007's Avatar
    Hamselv007 Posts: 40, Reputation: 9
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Feb 26, 2011, 09:04 AM

    Then un-fix the date, if your not willing to get kids right after the marriage and she is, this could potentially be a deal-breaker!

    The two of you need to work this out before. If she's avoiding the subject, then your just not trying hard enough.
    rockfun's Avatar
    rockfun Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Feb 28, 2011, 02:53 AM
    Comment on Hamselv007's post
    Hi Ham, She is thinking that talking about sex is a sin . I explained in all the ways but still no use
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #6

    Mar 1, 2011, 10:34 PM

    She thinks sex is a sin, you can't wait to jump her bones. Sorry guy, no wedding until you have the talk, and if you cannot even talk, you better be careful what your getting into.

    It's a big red flag when a couple thinking of marriage cannot discuss things openly with her husband. Maybe she is a scared virgin, but you better get it clear what this marriage is going to be about, with honest open communications right at the top of the list, or forget even getting married because for sure, you will be miserable, and disappointed. So will she.

    She sounds kind of young, and so do you. Its not really about the sex, but the honest communications to understand each others wants, needs, and expectations so you can resolve your issues to the benefit of you both. Do that, and you have a chance to work together and be happy. Don't talk, and it just will never work.

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