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hhh999 · Jan 3, 2011, 08:56 AM

My long term girfriend had asked me for some time to think about our relationship. She asked for this after a conflict between us (nothing very major. i.e. no cheating). We had other conflicts before that one, just like any other 2 people would have in any relationship. I thought that once we make up after the conflict, we would forgive each other and forget about it. Well, I came to know she still holds anger for each conflict. Our relationship was amazing as both parties cared about each other a lot. I have a gut feeling that she might want out of the relationship; however, I am willing to give her the time she needs to think about it especially we had plan for marriage and a whole life. On the other hand, I don't want to be fooled and wait forever. How long is an ideal / enough time to wait for an answer?

talaniman · Jan 3, 2011, 02:20 PM

We had other conflicts before that one, just like any other 2 people would have in any relationship. I thought that once we make up after the conflict, we would forgive each other and forget about it.

WRONG!! Maybe the solutions to your conflict that every couples have is not the solution to satisfy her. Obviously she was going along to end the conflict, she just never forgot, so it built up and had enough of YOUR solutions. Bet you argued about the same things a lot didn't you??

Well, I came to know she still holds anger for each conflict. Our relationship was amazing as both parties cared about each other a lot.

Well the angry was greater than the amazing to her so she needs space. Give it to her and leave her alone until she is not angry and ready to talk.

How long is an ideal / enough time to wait for an answer?

Until she is ready, so don't hold your breath, just do your thing and expect the worst, but hope for the best.

Sorry guy, without knowing your ages, how long you have been in a relationship, or what the conflicts were about, that's the best I can offer, but I can add that its never a good sign when someone is angry over past things that one partner thinks is resolved.

Either the communications is off, or one of you isn't paying enough attention to the other, and has ignored a lot of signs that somebody ain't happy with the way its going.

Whatever it is ain't good!

hhh999 · Jan 4, 2011, 12:21 AM

Hello talaniman, Thanks a lot for your response, appreciate it.. we are late 20s, we have been together for a year, and yes you are right we argued mainly about the same thing, which is that I complain about her lack of communication with me. I ask her to communicate more with me and find more time for us to communicate.

I really find your comment very accurate. I am actually doing what you recommended: "Until she is ready, so don't hold your breath, just do your thing and expect the worst, but hope for the best."

LoNeLy_HeArT · Jan 11, 2011, 06:29 AM

I agree with you!! It is true she is because I'm a girl and once it happened to me and we broke up and we were engaged tooooo!!