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    navika18's Avatar
    navika18 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Dec 6, 2015, 01:51 AM
    How to know if he was interested in me?
    I had met a guy as part of arranged marriage meeting process. First we met with our parents.. all was fine.. I liked him and his family and also felt the same from their side. They also let us know that they liked us. Talked to him over phone and also we met twice after that. He had asked for a meeting both times. I felt level of comfort and understanding with him and he also gave the same impression. He listened to every word of mine with interest and I also found him using my words and expression in his conversation. Everything was going good and then there was meeting of our family with his relatives. Meeting went well but he didn't talk much during that meeting and also he and his parents showed to their relatives that we both had not had a separate meeting and had only talked over phone once or twice. That's what he told his maternal aunt in front of me when she asked us to talk to each other. But the meeting went very cordial. Also after the meeting they said that we will meet soon. During the meeting his father told my father that they wished that I should stay with them and commute to office from there and my father happily agreed.(I have been alloted govt accommodation). Two days after the meeting there was no response from their side. When I messaged him asking how is he, there was no reply. After about half an hour, his father called up my father and apologised for not being able to take it further. I really do not know what to make of it. Please help.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,244, Reputation: 10853
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    #2

    Dec 6, 2015, 05:35 AM
    It probably had nothing to do with YOU, but more likely THEM. Even in cultures where the family takes the lead in the dating/relationship/marriage ritual there can be disappointments for whatever reason. While the other family was cordial, not knowing what they truly thought has to be disconcerting, but should not be taken personally. You and this fellow have little to do with the decisions of the other family members it seems.

    I think in the dating/marriage ritual you have to expect disappointments and deal with the rejections that come with it. I think this is where you talk to your own family for better understanding of this ritual and support through the frustration and uncertainty that's involved.

    Even in western cultures relationships often start great with high hopes, and expectations, but fizzle out and don't work for a variety of reasons. Reasons you may never even know about.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #3

    Dec 6, 2015, 07:03 AM
    I agree with Talaniman.

    The beginnings of any relationship, no matter how they come about, are just the very first steps in deciding whether a relationship is worth pursuing.

    I know of Indian families who have more than one woman lined up as a possible mate for their sons, and as well the parents of a woman.

    As this is out of your hands, and the decision to carry on with this potential mate are not for you to decide, I would assume that nothing will come of this.

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