Every break up I have ever been through I have handled it in a mature often detached way, just shrugged it off as it just obviously wasn't meant to be, but my last ex? Now that's a different story. Up until the past couple of days I thought that I was progressing really well. For a whole month I've rarely thought about her to be honest. Now there is no way in hell that I'm going to break NC. My stomach is back in knots and I'm not sure why. For the past 4 days I've been waking up with her on my mind. Obviously she is the girl that I've had the strongest feelings for so far. It just feels like I'm yo-yoing, I don't want her back but she's haunting me guys :(

They will haunt you, I know, but it will pass, just don't do anything impulsive as those feelings are only that feelings. Deal with them.

I can suggest you change your morning habits a bit, so you get up, and get busy, so she can fade away like all other dreams we have.

UPDATE

After a heavy night out, I'm half asleep, I answer my phone without checking who it is.
I can't lie hearing her voice after so long had that soothing effect on me but the conversation was odd. I know I should have just hung up on her but I couldnt/didnt.
She had a lot of odd questions to which I gave one worded answers to. She kept defending the feelings which she once had for me but was adamant that she had moved on with someone else and that she was very happy now. She asked about my family and if I was seeing anyone to which I answered yes but only very casually. She then became some what aggressive and made up a lie about cheating on me while we were together. I told her that was fine and she should have told me sooner because then I would have felt a lot less sh!tty after we broke up. She got even more angry but confessed it was a lie and that she gets the urge to hurt me and she doesn't know why. I finished the conversation telling her it was pointless but I was glad to hear from her & happy she was doing well.

I know I should not be at the point trying to analyze what she says to me because what's the point right? This was like the 3rd time she's got in contact within the 4 months that we have been apart and whatever she has said in those conversations lingers with me for a few days after. Im feeling a whole lot better in general and I didn't find myself getting emotional whilst talking to her so my feelings have faded a lot. I can't lie my heart is still with her but my head knows not to turn back around. What does she get out of these random strange conversations? There are these events going on next week in which I know she'll be attending and I have no choice but to go along. I haven't seen her since we split so I'm really not looking forward to that. Im not sure whether I can handle seeing her with someone else.

This is just temporary. Everyone goes through this. Be strong and positive.

I think ill always be weak for her, I've never been like this in my entire life.

Because you have never been in love until now..

Usually people that are truly in love, don't shrug their shoulders to ending relationships.. that's why you're so torn up by this one, because it was real

It sucks huh? But that's life and it's what makes us human

Tell me about it. I hope I don't act like a complete fool when I see her.. I think I'll just completely ignore her I can't make things worse that way can I?

Do you HAVE to be at this function? If not I would say just skip it. With her always trying to hurt or punish you on the phone, I can imagine the hurtful things she is planning when she sees you in person.

She seems like the type of person that would intentionally try to spite you.

Yes sadly I have no choice but to go. I guess ill just have to grin and bare it!

I had stuck at no contact for 42 days but broke it the other week by answering her call by mistake! Since then she's tried to get in touch but I've stayed strong. At the function I just flat out ignored her, there were tonnes of people about so that was pretty easy. God she looked pretty damn fine though! Anyway back to the problem.. a couple of times a month ill get a message from her telling me she's going to drop by and give me my stuff back.. but she never actually does. Now I know what your going to say write it off and put it down to experience but uni is starting back up again soon and she has most of my work which I most definitely need back! She has a lot of my other stuff too (of value might I add!) which I'm willing to forget about. Why is she dragging this out for?