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    real977's Avatar
    real977 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 14, 2008, 01:57 PM
    How to handle an 7 year relationship breakup
    Hi my name is luis and I just recently had a devastating breakup with my girlfriend for 7 years. We both started going out on September 19 of 2001 just after I got here in the u.s. from the philippines. We were both in high school. For that 7 years, we never got separated. We were together everyday. Literally everyday. We planned so many things. All our first times done together. (first kiss, first sex, first love etc.) the only time we got separated was when she moved to san diego because her mom lives there. I couldn't go with her because I was still in school. But we both planned on living together when I graduate. Our relationship was basically perfect. We never had any cheating issues. No big arguments. Everyone always asked when were going to get married because we were always together. Our last argument was something fixable. And I just couldn't see a good reason why she had to break up with me. After we fought I hang up on her. And I tried calling her the next day to say sorry. But she didn't pick up till midnight. All she said was that she needed space. And I kind of acted desperate because of the fact that we broke up on the phone. By the way, I live 5 hours away from her. Now I'm just so crushed the fact that I won't ever see her again. Its been 4 months and I'm actually waiting for her. I tried not contacting her but I couldn't because I got used to talking to her every minute of everyday. Now I just feel so lost and don't know what to do. I heard from her friend that she has a new boyfriend and that really crushed me. I know I couldn't give her everything she wanted because of financial issues but I've given my whole time and life for her. I tried dating and can't stop thinking about her. I even told her that and it seems like she didn't care. All I know right now is that she's coming down for one of our friends graduation with her boyfriend and I don't know what to do when I see her. Last time I asked her if she's happy with her new boyfriend and she said yes because he does everything for her which I did too when we were still together. I really need help on what I should do. I don't want to say I'm crazy but I am still very crazy in love with her. I really want her back but can't see any hope. I never been in a situation like this before because she is my first girlfriend. Is it really that easy for someone to waste a perfect 7 years? How should I know if there is still a chance? Should I still stick with my original plan of moving to san diego and see where it takes me? I changed a lot, got a better job. My life is basically set for a good life. But I don't know how to live that good life without her. I'm graduating in two months but don't know what to do from there. Someone please help me.
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #2

    Nov 14, 2008, 02:04 PM

    Doesn't seem like there is a chance right now. You seemed to builed your life around her, with nothing else to keep you going besides school. I will say that VERY RARELY do the 'first' couples ever stay together. I mean, very rarely do first loves, or first sex or whatever stay together. That is almost a fantasy. I wouldn't go to the graduation either. Seeing her there with her new boyfriend would be crushing to you. You have got to start building a life around you that does not require her. You also need to realize that people change. It happens, hell it happened to me. Stay away from her! Don't call her, don't look at pics, don't ask about her. I know it is hard, especially after such a long time, but you need to get yourself together emotionally before you even think about seeing or talking to her again. Think about yourself right now, and as hard a pill as it may be to swallow, she does not matter! You do... you came to the right place.
    LifeChangesMan's Avatar
    LifeChangesMan Posts: 329, Reputation: 39
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    #3

    Nov 14, 2008, 06:29 PM
    Tiger's smart but I disagree with the very rarely first love thing working out, I know plenty of people around my life that have been with their significant other forever and, they had their problems just like everyone else. You do need to look out for yourself more importantly then anything, don't worry about her anymore, you can't change her mind as much as you think you can, but post everything you need here on the site and we will try and help you, my girlfriend of 4.5 years asked me for space and time two weeks ago and I haven't spoken to her since and I've been trying to help everyone I can since. And don't go to the graduation, stop asking people about her, don't check her myspace crap, let her do what she wants if it's meant to be she'll be back my friend, but live your life now if your getting a good job, good head on your shoulders you'll be a sure catch and will be very happy. Best of luck to you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,298, Reputation: 10854
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    #4

    Nov 15, 2008, 10:35 AM

    Your time was not wasted, as you enjoyed it, and now that its over you must regroup, and rebuild a life that you enjoy, and makes you happy without her. Its simple, but a lot of very hard work ahead, so best get busy now, and explore your new found freedom, and let her enjoy hers.

    Do not contact her for any reason, as you get your own life in order.

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