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    sammy76's Avatar
    sammy76 Posts: 37, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Oct 15, 2010, 08:03 PM
    How to get the one I love
    I'm 18 and have just graduated high school. In year 8 I met a guy at my school who I really liked then and who I was really good friends with. After two or so years, we stopped talking as much because we changed social circles etc.
    Last year we started talking a bit more again, and I realised I still liked him.
    A lot of girls in my year have boyfriends and flings and such, not that I want to just 'hook up' or whatever, but at this age I should be having fun. Anyway I realised a few months ago that I love this boy. I know you hear teenagers and such going on about how they love some new boyfriend. But it's not like that, we connect on this level that isn't so much physical, but just an understanding. I'm a bit reclusive when it comes to speaking my emotions and stuff, but I find that with him, I don't have to, he just gets me.
    He broke up with his girlfriend few months ago, and I've had constant dreams about him.
    I can't like any other guy besides him, and I'm scared it will stay this way forever unless I take action on our relationship. I love him so much, but my shyness and unwillingness to put myself out there and be vulnerable to rejection means that I can't get myself to say anything. Let alone tell anyone I feel this way about him.
    We have our final exams these few weeks, but after our last one, I very well may not see him again, which is what I'm most worried about because nothing can compare to him.
    I just don't know what to do, I need to be with him, but I can't get myself to do anything.
    Please help
    KoolAide187's Avatar
    KoolAide187 Posts: 94, Reputation: 21
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    #2

    Oct 15, 2010, 11:40 PM
    Well not to worry. If you don't get this guy there will always be more out there that "get you" some men are just more in touch with their feelings than others and they tend to listen more which can come across as just getting you. And the fact that he "gets" you... tells me this boy does listen to you. Now some things to look out for... does he smile at you a lot? Can you make him blush? Does he laugh at your stupid jokes? Does he face you when you talk to him? These are signs that he likes you. Big tell tell signs are body language but if you aren't familiar on how it works you may Google a quick lesson for things to look for. Anyway do you have this boys number in case you never see him again? If he gets you and y'all are friends like you say. He should have your number as well as you have his. If you have trouble talking to him face to face you can try texting your feelings or flirt over text. To be honest from a guys prospective. When I was in school if I knew a girl who was hot I would wish she would ask me out because I was too scared to ask. Now I am sure that this can be a lot on your plate but sometimes if you want something in life you just take it. Before you take maybe you should get a feel for how he feels about you first. It could be he feels the exact about you but you may never know because you were both too scared to react on it. If he isn't going to make the move then it looks like you're going to have to but like I said get a feel for his feelings about you first too.
    sammy76's Avatar
    sammy76 Posts: 37, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Oct 16, 2010, 01:12 AM

    Thanks for your reply.
    The thing is I can see myself living happily for years and years with this guy, and he has made my standards so high that no one can really compare.
    His body language shows signs that he might like me... he'll laugh at my jokes, smile at me, and I always catch him looking at me. We have each-others number, but neither of us are the type to send 'flirty' messages or anything.
    Its just frustrating that if he does like me, why can he not just do something about it! But the same can be said for me, I suppose we're both just socially awkward in the whole 'flirtation' area.
    I don't know how to ask the question of whether he likes me or not to his friends, without letting them know I like him, which I can't do.
    I guess my best option is to mix with his crowd of friends more to give more opportunity for something to happen...
    KoolAide187's Avatar
    KoolAide187 Posts: 94, Reputation: 21
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Oct 16, 2010, 03:26 AM
    How about you text him once just to get the ball rolling. The simple fact that he shows you all those signs that he likes you and that he hangs around you is enough to tell me he is probably interested or at least thought about the idea of you and him being a couple. Play a texting game with him. 21 questions or something. Tell him he has to be honest and you will be honest. Ask him a couple easy ones like what's your favorite color? What's your favorite movie? Do you think I am pretty? And keep going from there. Then once y'all see each other in school again it will be easier to talk to him about your feelings. Because y'all are connecting more over texting trust me it may seem awkward but he isn't making the move and you want him to... then you need to do it. Have fun with it though. If it turns out he doesn't like you like that it's not the end of the world. You're young. You haven't even gone to college yet to see how many other people are out there waiting for you. If he doesn't like you take it as it's his loss. But chances are he will and chances are... if you don't make the move he isn't going to. So what's it going to hurt? Have some fun with it. GL
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Oct 16, 2010, 10:46 AM

    You can't have fun, and find things out, just by chasing thoughts through your head so take a chance, and talk to the guy, and see what happens.

    I know, fear is holding you back, and you are afraid to be hurt, but you will never gain experience, or know what you can handle without trying at least, or taking a risk. Heck you won't even know if your high expectations of getting with him are the same as his, unless you make the effort to find out, but as it stands, dreaming of being with a fellow forever without dating, is just a dream with no facts behind them.

    Time you grew up, and got some reality about life, and the way it really works, and the difference between fantasy, and BS!
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #6

    Oct 16, 2010, 10:58 AM

    Having your head in the clouds about a guy you're afraid to talk to is nice and safe but it gets you nowhere.
    You have to want something more than you fear it. Maybe you just want the dream.
    If you like the guy, call him, talk to him. Otherwise no mater how nice he may be, it won't mean a thing because you won't talk to him.

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