Okay guys and gals, this is going to be a long one, so strap in and get ready for the ride. I'm doing damned good these days. I've moved on and realize that she wasn't right for me... our goals were completely different and she wasn't willing to accept who I am... flaws, career and all.

Well, I haven't talked to her since around the 10th of November and I got to say, I know I'm over her now... I read my old posts and realized exactly how ridiculous I sounded and how I thought my world wouldn't go on without her? I forgot in all of this that I'm the only person I really need to go on. I had to take some time and think about that too. I'm at the point now to where, yeah... I still care about her, but she's a friend now. She's not upset in the least and has began to move on as well. It makes me laugh when I read those damned posts because I know me better than that and I just lost my head for a little while. I guess everyone does.

Anyway, I guess after my accident at work I started to think of things differently. I can't just continue to sit around and waste my life away. After all, when you think you have control in your life, it only means one thing... you're not going fast enough. I've all but fully recovered after a month off and I'm ready to get back to doing what I love again and loving what I do.

Now, here's my question. During this time I noticed that I started to feel different about someone. This isn't just anyone either. She's a very good friend of mine back home. I went out with the boys on Saturday night to blow off some steam since I haven't gotten to do that in a while. We seen a concert and I got set and talk with a very popular guitar player who happened to sit down next to me at the bar. Well, anyway... I immediately had to text her and let her know about it. She was excited and told me that it sucked that I wasn't back home yet, and asking when I was coming back home.

So anyway, I knew that something wasn't right for about the past week. I felt different about this girl and I know that I had just been hiding my feelings about it for a while. So anyway, I was smashed and the band started to play a song that I absolutely love to hear. I sent her another text and she called me saying that it wasn't fair that she wasn't here to dance with me.

Now man... did this send me off on what could be a downward spiral. I walked outside the bar and talked to her without a jacket, in the freezing cold. We hardly ever speak on the phone, so it was good to hear her voice for the first time in over a month. She told me that she had something big to tell me and I responded with my drunken swagger "I got something to tell you too, give me a call later." She said okay and then called me around 0230.

Man, did I ever choke on this. She started talking to me and said that I must be there for her birthday next month, which I promised that I would be. Some people have been telling me that they sensed the strong feelings there before, but knew I was too proud to admit it.

Anyway, this set something off inside my insightful, drunk head. She asked what I had to tell her and I said word for word, as I remember it (may not be very acurate though.. ha) "I don't know what I would have done without you the past 5 months. You bring a smile to my face every day at the right times. You know when I need to be cheered up and you seem to know exactly what to say to make me feel better." She said "Well sugar, that's part of what I do for you. You're my friend and you mean a lot to me." Like I said, I choked on this one. So she asked me to continue and I did. I told her this... "I think of you as more than just my friend. I'm not good at showing my feelings and this is hard to say, but I see you in a different light more and more every day." She said "Oh, I never knew that. Why didn't you say something before?" and I told her that I didn't want to ruin our friendship with just my feelings because I do value our friendship so much. I told her that it's okay for her not to feel the way I do, because I know it's probably not going to be that way. So, I talked to her a little while longer and then we shot text messages back and forth for another hour or so until we both passed out. I woke up this morning and had a text from her that said "I'm happy you told me. I didn't think anyone cared enough to be honest with me anymore." I just responded back and said that I had to be because that's who I am.

So, we made small talk for a while throughout the day. I then began to feel like maybe I made a mistake by telling her. We quit talking this evening and I'm sure it's because of the shock that I gave her... I mean, if one of my best friends told me what I told her, I would probably need some time to think things out too.

So what should I do? I can't decide what is more important... the friendship, or what could possibly come of all this. Any suggestions on how I should handle this one? I'm really thrown for a loop on what to do.

Wow man. Well first off I'd say that I don't think you've had enough time out of your old relationship to be considering a new one. Secondly, you were drunk, maybe she knew that, maybe she didn't. If she did, then you can't really take what she said seriously either. If she didn't know, then id probably leave it be unless she gives you some kind of signal that she feels the same way. You could call her again, but like you said, you run the risk of losing a friendship if you dive in too quick with this. Definitely let her make the next move, you put your cards on the table, you need a discernible reaction from her, sounds pretty vague so far, I mean, it could be because she doesn't know how to put it to you nicely that she's not where you are, or it could be because she's genuinely happy you said something about it and she's been feeling the same way. Just don't assume too much, let her call you or text you and see if she seems to be trying to drag on what you talked about, id say that's a good sign.

Keep your word, and be honest with her. That requires you to know how you really feel, and if this is a rebound, because your fresh from a break up, and need someone, then at least acknowledge that, and do the right things about it.

Be honest with yourself, so you can be honest with her.

If you keep it real, and not rush head first into something your not ready for, it can work out for everyone. Your already friends, so it should be easy to honestly communicate.

That's why I told her, I think. Yeah, I was drunk and yeah, I said a lot... maybe too much. I'm in a rebound situation right now, but this girl is too important for me to think of her as just a rebound anyway. I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I plan in no way to just jump right into another relationship. That's not who I am... it took me 2 years between my divorce and meeting my ex before I started a new relationship... so trust me, I'm in no hurry. Plus, she's almost 500 miles away... I wouldn't start any type of relationship with someone I can't see at least weekly/bi-weekly.