So, I am the kind of girl bullies really like, they are all after me. I am strong I fight and stand up for myself but it’s annoying and that gave me lots of pressure. But that’s not the point, the silence of my friends is what really hit me hard. Some of them even laugh at me not just watch. Those who I have always thought were my dear close friends. And so I decided to get myself better friends and I did but in one year they all moved away and I switched schools. In my new school, I unconsciously kept myself away from everyone. I did not realize it until a classmate and a teacher pointed it out. That they always see me alone or quitely sitting a group not interacting with anyone. That’s not how I wanted things to be I did not want to give up. I wanted friends but since I moved in late and it is my first year in high school, literally everybody is from the neighboring middle school. I am the only new person, so it is really difficult to find a place between them, besides I have already lost trust. I switched classes and tried talking to girls from higher classes but I just can’t help thinking they don’t like me, cause why else would nobody talk to me unless I do? My best friend and I are in different schools and we hardly ever see each other. Her school is really strict and they have lots of work so I can’t talk to her except like once in two weeks and since I don’t want to trouble her, I don’t tell her about this. I made internet friends but I get the same thoughts “do they really like me?”. I am also missing the love of family. I don’t feel any Love from any side of my family, we don’t hate each other but we sound like simple random people who happened to live together in one house. I tried once talking to my sister about it but she just laughed at me saying I can’t solve anything on my own. Mom says that in this age everyone is using everyone and we just have to get used to it. They aren’t helping in the least! I am still 15 and I don’t want to get depression, I don’t want to get suicidal thoughts and start cutting! But if things go on like this I believe I will follow no other than that path. Please help me I don’t know what to do
Thanks in advance

Making friends is hard for everyone, you're not alone. The hardest part is putting yourself out there, allowing people to know you, opening up to people and trusting that they'll be gentle with your heart, it doesn't always work out that way.

I remember all too well my "best friend" in high school. Most days she'd be so nice to me, we'd ride our bikes to school together every day, go to each others homes, go on vacations together, but when she was in a bad mood I was the one she took it out on, and she was brutal. There were times I was afraid to go to school because I didn't know what mood she'd be in that day and I didn't want to be bullied by the person that was my best friend. In 11th grade I made new friends, and many of those friends are still in my life. I'm now 47.

My daughter is also 15, and she's also in her first year of high school. She's lucky, this year she's back with her best friend. They went to different schools in Junior High and missed each other terribly. But, despite having her best friend in school with her, she's made many new friends since the start of the year. She's joined Yearbook, and Drama, and has met a lot of great people.

I think you need to put yourself out there more. Don't be afraid to talk to people, get to know them. If they turn you away you're no worse off than you are now, but chances are you'll find someone you like, and they'll introduce you to more people and soon you'll have a great circle of friends.

You're the one that has to do this, we can't do it for you. Put your fear aside and get to know people, you just may be surprised.

I totally agree with Alty's approach of putting yourself out there more, and enjoy all your school offers as a way to not just have fun, but getting to INTERACT with many people. Who knows you may form friendships with many, but one or two that get to deeper levels, and that's worth the efforts right?

You have to admit it's better than just keeping to yourself and not interacting with anybody. That path is a downer for sure. I don't think it's a matter of trusting again, but rather learning to trust YOURSELF and building your own self confidence again, like you were when you were in very secure friendly surroundings.

I think that's your choice right now, between putting yourself out there, and isolating yourself. Better to try and fail, than fail because you didn't try. Even when we fail we can always try again, and learn from those failures, and do better. Not that you have failed at all, don't get me wrong, you are just looking for the best path for you and are coping with some very big changes in your life. A lot for one so young. We all go through that on our way to adulthood.

Be patient with yourself as time is really on your side so get out there and let others KNOW you and what you are about. By the time you're 16 or 17, some will like what they know, and some will not, but who cares about the ones that don't. Good luck my young friend, I hope you choose to go for what you want rather than waiting for it to happen on its own.