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    papparoo's Avatar
    papparoo Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 3, 2013, 11:13 AM
    How do I tell a girl how I feel?
    I'm 46 and she is 44. We have been really good friends for 35 years. We have never been available, either she was in a relationship or I was. This is first time we are both available. I told her I'm done with my ex, and 2 days later she was done with her ex.

    Now she needs a place to stay so she is staying with me. I have always felt very strong about her and I really want to tell her but if she is not into me, she might end our friendship. ( Can't have that)
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    May 3, 2013, 11:58 AM
    Sadly this is one of those times that you either take the risk, or let it go. Those are your options.

    You're not children. If you tell her how you feel, and she doesn't feel the same way, you're both mature enough to handle remaining friends.

    Personally, I think you should tell her that you've always found her attractive, and you've always wondered what would happen if the two of you got together, and you want to know if she has the same feelings for you. Put in a "but" clause", "but, if you don't, I really don't want this to ruin our friendship. I value your friendship more than anything. I just felt you should know how I feel".

    Do keep in mind that you both just got out of relationships. She may not be ready to consider dating anyone else right now.

    Good luck.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,303, Reputation: 10854
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    #3

    May 3, 2013, 04:28 PM
    I would be cool and see what happens myself. See if friends works in such close quarters before you confess feelings for more. What's the hurry for a title, commitment, and romance?

    How long will she need a place to stay since she obviously just broke up and moved away from a boyfriend? Actually that would make you both rebounds.
    springfall79's Avatar
    springfall79 Posts: 12, Reputation: -1
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    #4

    May 3, 2013, 08:39 PM
    This process will take a long time for you and your friend to build a strong relationship, I suggest talking about small things and once you two have been interested you guys can talk about dating etc. Just give it sometime, also find out if she likes you back the same way or as just a friend. Knowing that will help you build a relationship. Good luck!
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #5

    May 3, 2013, 08:48 PM
    Ummm... what are the odds that she just happened to be done with her ex 2 days after you were done with yours?
    Astronomically small.

    I say take it easy as others are saying but for a different reason. I'm a little worried by what sounds like na´vetÚ on your part.
    All these coincidences... if you don't see what is going on then is it possible that you are a bit clueless?

    If not, then hey, jump right in to the deep end, and make up for 35 years of lost time!
    papparoo's Avatar
    papparoo Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    May 5, 2013, 04:19 AM
    I wrote a note telling her how I feel that I would wait. Left it so she could read it. She has not yet but today I am leaving her here alone. Ty for your help
    papparoo's Avatar
    papparoo Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    May 7, 2013, 08:57 PM
    She has seen the note but didn't say anything and now she is acting like there is something between her and her ex... im thinking she is trying to see if there is something left before she says something to me...
    Its like she is wanting me to hear her tell him she loves him and she is calling him a lot more.. I don't want to push the fact that I love her but my love is 35 yrs long and WILL NEVER DIE...
    In the note I said that in my heart I will always wait for her..
    Does anyone have an idea what to do next?. im thinking I should just wait... or should I push the note?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,303, Reputation: 10854
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    #8

    May 8, 2013, 05:52 AM
    I think you are better served to go back to the boundaries that kept this friendship alive for 35 years. Trying to push the envelop so soon after you both have had life changing events (failed relationships) is a disaster and impulsive.

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