I am 18 years old. I graduated high school with honors at the end of January 2019. I have been working for almost three months now and am ready to leave home. I have the support and approval of my mother, but not my dad's. I respect and honor my dad and I have been obedient to the rules of his household, but I am own person now and I am ready to move to a new stage of my life.

I have done a lot of research on moving and the ins and outs and ups and downs, and am fully equipped. I am intelligent, mature, and more than capable.

For the longest time I blamed myself for the past and present predicaments that is my life, and then I realized hey this isn't all my fault and I started blaming my family, and that wasn't right either. People aren't perfect and I can't fix them or life in general. I have learned that all I can do is accept them for them, and love them anyway, and the only thing/person I can truly change is myself and how I see the world. Of course saying this. I am 18 and I do not have to keep myself in a bad situation anymore.

Moving out should just be a part of life. Yes parents miss their children but leaving home is part of growing up, and my dad refuses to see that and refuses to let me leave. He says I am forbidden to move out.

My main concern is how will he react to my leaving?
Will he still want a relationship with me? Will he still love me?
Will he put his control over my siblings now that I won't be there?
Will he hurt my mom for supporting me? Will he blame her?
Will my dad go into a state of depression d hurt himself or my family?
Will my dad destroy the house or any belongings of mine still there?
Will my dad ever be able to forgive me?
Will ever be welcomed back into my home town and child home with open arms and unconditional love?

I want my dads approval and I know I won't get it. I want my dad to accept and love me, but he has made it clear that unless my thoughts, feelings, opinions, and beliefs, line up with his then I am wrong. I love him and my family with all my heart, and even the thought of moving away breaks my heart, but it is something that I have to do, and it is not like I am doing it alone.

I refuse to move and do this behind my dads back. I am going to tell him my plans and everything once they are finalized and he can't ruin anything for me. I want him to be happy for me, but I just can't see that happening. How can I grow and become my own person, but still have a relationship with my dad. There are no boundaries and I do not even know how to begin to implicate one. I have always hated confrontation and would just always agree with him and do whatever my dad wanted to appease him, but in the mean time I lost myself, didn't stand up for myself, and I got hurt, and lost my voice.