Get yourself busy. Then you won't have enough to time to worry about someone and contact them.

If you're wondering how to have enough self discipline in order to give someone space (I presume you are a girlfriend or a boyfriend), then I can see why person asking you for it, is asking in the first place.

Self discipline is not something you go and buy a package of at the pharmacy, or some skill you develop by osmosis. Self discipline is the same trait that you already have, and apply it all the time, every day, day in and day out, in all kinds of circumstances.

While you are in the lineup for gas, behind 16 full-sized, crew cab, Dodge 4x4's, each with a 100 gallon gas tank (if there is such a thing), you have to have self discipline in order to wait your turn, be considerate of those in front of you, and patience while you wait.

It is no different in a relationship. Sometimes one party or the other feels crowded, their personal space is shared too closely, or too much too often, with their partner. They feel they can't breathe, or think, without their partner being continuously 'there'.

All you can do is use the self discipline you already have- wait, be considerate, and be patient.

Thanks,it is so hard,she just moved out a week ago and I have not been very good at letting her be.we are supposed to meet in a month to see if there is any future for us but the feelings to contact her are overwhelming,she is very frustrated with my lack of respect for her space,we were together for almost 7 years.

Danno, understood. It is very, very hard. It is also a very confusing place to be. When your partner says they need 'space', that is a very open ended, fuzzy place to be. What does it really mean. You are left wondering what is going to happen with the relationship, and she has the luxury of deciding when to put you out of your misery, by telling you directly one way or the other. So, you are between and betwixed, you don't know if you are in, or out.

But this space she needs, could also be a good thing for you as well. Take this time to reflect, and think about where you want this relationship to go. What are the good things, and what are the bad things within the relationship, and figure out what your needs are, and are they being met. Where do you honestly think the relationship is going, and what changes are you willing to make, and what changes is she willing to make, to have a successful future together.

You may find that you give too much. That she is never truly satisfied, or you feel she is not as committed as you are. You may be compromising too much of yourself, and have too few expectations of her. If it is her that is moulding the relationship with her needs, and you are compromising too much in order to keep her happy, then those are the things to consider, during this time you are apart.

I wouldn't be a sitting duck either. Let her know that in that month you are apart, that you will not contact her, and stick to your guns. Perhaps if she knows you won't be sitting by the phone crying in your soup, she too will begin to think more about what she could potentially lose, instead of concentrating on only her needs.

Stay strong.

Awesome advice jake thank you,she told me this morning she has no feelings and doesn't thi nk she will again,then later she says if you truly leave me alone she will really reflect and see what she wants and what her goals are,she says if mine and hers are on the same page we will talk about dating again and see where it goes,it is a real rollercoaster with her,but I'm just going to stay away zero contact of any kind and see what my goals are as well and if we can mesh

I like that. She is thinking about her wants and goals, and wants you to do the same. If you both meet on the same page, and start again, all the more power to you.

It's funny when someone says, 'I need space'. Sometimes it is the step before a total breakup, sometimes it is just what it says. Either way, as long as both of you are figuring out whether there is a future together or not, that's what counts.

And I know zero contact is not going to be easy. Keep busy, and be as productive as you can. All the very best to you Danno.

Thanks Jake,I guess we'll see,I really have no power over her decisions but if I leave her alone I have a better chance at being back together,appreciate the support and wise words

HI jake,just an update,we met yesterday briefly,She started crying and told me that she thinks I shopuld date and see what's out there but that she has no interest in dating and that we could still maybe be back she just can't say right now,She is lost

She is not lost at all my friend, just trying to let you down easy, and spare you hard feelings, and more false hope.

This is when you disappear from her life and move on with your own. Sorry, but its for the best to be seriously NOT in contact with her at all.