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    Gabby39's Avatar
    Gabby39 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 4, 2013, 01:44 AM
    How do I cope with contact when I'm hurting?
    I have been in a 2 year on and off relationship and have a 1 year old with him. He sexted other girls during our pregnancy and even before and constantly dumps me when things get tough. My hearts a complete mess and self esteem shot.

    Just would like some advice please on how do I move on, feel better and manage the fact he will be picking our baby up at least once a week when I'm so broke up over it. Currently I put in a brave face but inside I'm a complete emotional mess. Thank you very much x

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    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    May 4, 2013, 02:01 AM
    He is picking up the baby, not visiting you, make the pick up somewhere away from home, or even best, always have a third party with you if he comes.

    He comes to door, you hand him baby, and he goes.

    He should own and have all his own baby supplies, make him a list if he is stupid of what he must have in his home for him to have baby.
    Gabby39's Avatar
    Gabby39 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    May 4, 2013, 02:16 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    he is picking up the baby, not visiting you, make the pick up somewhere away from home, or even best, always have a third party with you if he comes.

    He comes to door, you hand him baby, and he goes.

    he should own and have all his own baby supplies, make him a list if he is stupid of what he must have in his home for him to have baby.
    Thank you for the reply, he will try and make small talk but I don't want that as it makes me think things are OK when they aren't , I will do what you have advised thanku
    Gabby39's Avatar
    Gabby39 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    May 4, 2013, 02:18 AM
    When your boyfriend ( and baby father ) of 2 years and having been through a really messed up on and off relationship tells you they are depressed, don't know what he don't know what he wants anymore, doesn't know anything, give me time to sort myself out is it already over?

    What would you do? Should I do no contact to give that time or am I just being played


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    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #5

    May 5, 2013, 06:37 AM
    Without more details, I can only guess... probably.

    EDIT- Actually, I just read your other question(s) and now it all seems more clear. The guy cheats on you and treats you like garbage... it's over... that is better for you in the long run anyway.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/how-do-cope-wih-contact-when-im-hurting-747287.html
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    May 5, 2013, 09:39 AM
    Accept that the romance love and together is over, and the parenting is all that remains for the next 18 years or so. You do like any divorced couple after a failed marriage. You set rules and boundaries and agree on who pays and supplies what.

    This is best done in court so at least you have an agreement in writing. Above allhandle your child's business first, cry later, and heal in time.
    Gabby39's Avatar
    Gabby39 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    May 5, 2013, 09:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by odinn7 View Post
    Without more details, I can only guess....probably.

    EDIT- Actually, I just read your other question(s) and now it all seems more clear. The guy cheats on you and treats you like garbage....it's over....that is better for you in the long run anyway.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ng-747287.html
    Thanku for your advice and reply it's helped me accept things thanku

    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Accept that the romance love and together is over, and the parenting is all that remains for the next 18 years or so. You do like any divorced couple after a failed marriage. You set rules and boundaries and agree on who pays and supplies what.

    This is best done in court so at least you have an agreement in writing. Above allhandle your child's business first, cry later, and heal in time.
    Yes I think your right and will do that it's about the baby now and being mature isn't it ,
    Thanku for taking time to reply

    Quote Originally Posted by odinn7 View Post
    Without more details, I can only guess....probably.

    EDIT- Actually, I just read your other question(s) and now it all seems more clear. The guy cheats on you and treats you like garbage....it's over....that is better for you in the long run anyway.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ng-747287.html
    Yeah facts are fact aren't they and to me sending rude txs was cheating though to him it wasn't

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