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    How to convince the girl I like the most to marry me?

    Asked Feb 24, 2012, 10:27 PM 14 Answers
    Hi, I have been in contact with a girl for nearly 3 months through phone and mail. We exchanged photos and liked each other. She gave me her dads number to speak about our marriage and with his consent we met at the coffee shop. I liked her so much that I don't want to lose her for any reason. So Just a day before we meet I gave her some wrong picture about me to see her reactions. I tend to do this because she also did it for me earlier in the fear of I may reject her when we meet. I told her I'm a dark skinned person and not good looking guy, not much caring person etc etc. For this she said it doesn't matter for her as she can adjust. But next day when I called her she was not the same as a day before. She said we can meet next time! I wondered if what I told her become a disaster for our relationship. Although as planned I met her but I can clearly see she is completely changed her mind about me and she left me quickly after having a cup of coffee.

    After returning home I called her but no response. When I called her father, he conveyed her message that I don't have to wait for her. Then few days later when I called her from another number she spoke with me as nothing had happened and she promised me that she will call me back soon which never happened. I have written her a long mail but no reply. After 2 weeks I called her again from other number she said why u calling me all of sudden.. then next day I sent her one text message saying how much I love her for which she replied saying she will complain to her dad and police if I torture her any more!

    In the last 3 months we exchanged lot of messages, I had complimented her, motivated her so much.. spent all of my time to bring the best out of her. But now with her behavior I got too much pain and I have replied to this text message badly. Still I'm in completely confused state and can't forget her either. Lost interest in things I used to do happily. I get hurt because I have connected her with my life so deeply I guess... So what are the possibilities that I can convince her and able to marry her? Her father is busy looking her a match, once fixed she will never be mine.. any good thoughts or solutions to bring her back will be appreciated.


    Last edited by Wondergirl; Feb 26, 2012 at 04:56 PM.
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    14 Answers
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,692, Reputation: 1545
    Entomology Expert

    Feb 24, 2012, 10:37 PM
    She's told you not to contact her anymore and it is best to just do that. It's only been 3 months and you only actually met her one time. Save yourself and forget about this one and find someone else.

    At this point, she has changed her mind about you for whatever reason and now you are becoming a problem to her because of your refusal to accept that she isn't interested now. She has told you to stop and if you continue, it will become a case of harassment and that is not going to help you win her back for sure.
    Helpful (2)
    machris's Avatar
    machris Posts: 2, Reputation: 3
    New Member

    Feb 25, 2012, 12:27 AM
    I think this lady doesn't wanted to be bothered again, so there's nothing more you can convinced her. You just said that she just changed her mind when she saw you... and report if you keep on bothering her to tell you honestly maybe he doesn't really like you at all, she thought it will work on but it never was... you just do now is move on and accept the fact that all we wanted is not really possible sometimes... you find a new one that accept you no matter what , even she will see you and accept your whereabouts and not a stereotype
    Helpful (2)
    indya's Avatar
    indya Posts: 357, Reputation: 58
    Full Member

    Feb 25, 2012, 12:53 AM
    Very sorry to say that she has no interest in you. Not anymore. And its best not to keep contacting her and becoming a nuisance. Just move on. You'll eventually find someone else.
    Helpful (1)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 51,701, Reputation: 10734

    Feb 26, 2012, 04:53 PM
    Talaniman Rule - Never get stuck on some one thats NOT stuck on YOU!!

    I suggest you do as she says if you don't want to go to jail, or get beat up by her dad!
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 27,768, Reputation: 5882
    Pets Expert

    Feb 26, 2012, 05:07 PM
    As soon as she said that she will call the police if you don't stop bothering her, that should have been your wake up call. Actually, you should have woken up before that.

    She's changed her mind, which she's allowed to do.

    You may want her, but a relationship isn't about what one person wants. Both of you have to want it, and she no longer does.

    Move on.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 80,563, Reputation: 7618

    Feb 26, 2012, 05:08 PM

    Sorry what possessed you to send her a "wrong" photo of you after chatting and talking for 3 months. You caused this from what I can tell, she feels you are either a fool, or was lying of both. Sorry unless you just go over and see her in person, and/or her father, explain how stupid you were and sorry.
    day2012's Avatar
    day2012 Posts: 3, Reputation: 0
    New Member

    Feb 28, 2012, 05:11 AM
    Sorry if I was bit unclear in my first post. In fact I did not send her any wrong photos. I sent my own photo same she liked too. Just a previous day of our fist meet I gave her a wrong impression about myself on phone. It's nothing but she believed it completely so much so that she couldn't come out of it even after I met her. But why I did this? I just wanted to see her reactions that's it.. but this went terribly wrong, I never thought she will take her decision based on what I made her to believe. Its like a prank I've done. She thought its true and next call she did not answer, even before we meet. There after she hurt me so much by not responding me and then later rejecting me. Recently I had written her a strong mail commenting on her. Its all about a sort of misunderstanding but Im ended up with feeling bad and sad!
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,692, Reputation: 1545
    Entomology Expert

    Feb 28, 2012, 06:15 AM
    Still doesn't matter. She's not interested anymore and has told you so. Time to look for someone else.

    And this time around, I suggest you don't try and play silly mind games with someone.
    Helpful (1)
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,001, Reputation: 552
    Ultra Member

    Feb 28, 2012, 10:51 AM
    You are obsessed. What you need to do is leave this girl alone. She was VERY clear when she told you to stay away, don't pursue something that doesn't want to be chased. If the parents and/or police are brought into this, you will regret it. Respect her wishes, stop contacting her, and move on. Forcing her to be with you is not something you can do, and if you could, she would hate you for it. This is way past the point of you "convincing" her.
    Helpful (3)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 51,701, Reputation: 10734

    Feb 28, 2012, 03:45 PM
    I think we all have those bad or sad feelings when things in our romantic life screws up, or it just stops working despite all our efforts, and high hopes for things to be great forever.

    Acting on those feelings by continuing to push for what you want makes things worse, sometimes a lot worse. That's when we have to handle our feelings and do the right thing for ourselves by letting go when our romantic interest no longer has an interest.

    My experience in these matter says, the quicker you can let go, the quicker you can move on to the next adventure. There is always a next adventure waiting to be explored, when you let go of the last one that didn't work.

    You have to refuse to let your feelings of sadness, and a broken heart dictate your actions and keep you stuck on a losing proposition. That's why you bow out gracefully, disappear from her life, and keep your dignity, and self respect.

    So you see its all about how YOU handle YOUR feelings. Not convincing her to forgive you, or give you another chance.
    Helpful (2)
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 27,768, Reputation: 5882
    Pets Expert

    Feb 28, 2012, 03:54 PM
    You lied, that's the bottom line.

    You went from a guy she thought she could trust to someone she feels she can never trust again.

    Yes, it was a big mistake, and she learned from it. Have you?

    This girl is not going to give you another chance, and she doesn't have to. Learn from this mistake, move on, and if you're lucky enough to meet someone else that you care about, be honest about everything. Trust in a relationship is the number one most important thing.
    Helpful (1)
    day2012's Avatar
    day2012 Posts: 3, Reputation: 0
    New Member

    Mar 4, 2012, 12:21 AM
    Ya Alty, Its true I have played with her mind at the end which lead to the real end of the story. I fooled myself by saying something negative about myself. Its nothing but human psychology which happened in her case too. I have no idea how to replace those negative opinion about me with the positive or at least to the reality. I thought she has got good understanding and aware of my statements are not true and won't effect in any manner. In fact she too did the same thing to me earlier but I took it positively. She was the one I've found after long long search, but now its too difficult to accept the fact. 3months of effort to build a good relationship broken within a day for no real reason. Its not easy to find someone who's almost perfect the way we want. Its not her beauty but other qualities and also her family. It was Gods gift that I found her somehow but lost because of my own mistake which is hard to digest. Any way thanks for all those who responded.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
    Uber Member

    Mar 4, 2012, 12:42 AM
    Then learn from the mistakes you made and focus on your future-perfection is an illusion-getting to know someone and building a real relationship takes time and effort.

    Good luck.
    Helpful (1)
    pyaar guru's Avatar
    pyaar guru Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jul 21, 2012, 06:40 AM
    What ever happened is just happened. But one thing is sure if you act like begging and begging again for love I am sure she will lose interest in you very soon. Act like you will get a lot more girls better than her. Try to avoid her if she isn't interested in u. thing will get more worse after your try to find a girl who love you as soon as possible. Time will heal all the wounds. All the best

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