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barathboy · Mar 16, 2007, 09:36 AM

Hi, I love a girl for a long time but proposed recently but she says that she can't be more than frens and she is very determined in remaining frens and sometimes she tries to avoid me ,can ul help me what to do and how to convince her... I knew her for 10 years and we have been frens then .but now I love her and need to convince her...

Synnen · Mar 16, 2007, 09:42 AM

Honey, you can't make anyone love you.

I'm guessing that you are relatively young?

If you really love her, you'll do what is best for her, and what will make her happy. That's not to say that your own happiness doesn't count, but she's told you that she only cares for you as a friend. If she is avoiding you, it is because you can not accept that decision, and it's making her uncomfortable.

Now... as to how to make the transition from friend to possible boyfriend--that's hard. Flirt with her, but don't make it serious. Have fun with her, but again, nothing serious.

I'm sure that some of the guys here (I'm thinking specifically of Wildcat and Chuff) will have better advice on how to show a girl that you're boyfriend material. I just wanted to point out that there's nothing you can say that will convince her to love you.

EnglishRose · Mar 16, 2007, 10:09 AM

I'm afraid Synnen is right. If she doesn't feel the same you can't make her. If she has known you 10 years and it has always been as friends then its unlikely that will ever change. If she's avoiding you then you clearly have gone too far and you are risking losing your friendship. I think you should back off and think about moving on. Also you can't really be in love with someone if they are not in love with you because there can't be the kind of spirtitual connection that you can only have from a two way relationship. If you back off she may realsie that she misses you and if not you will have the chance to meet someone who feels the same.
Sorry if it wasn't the answer you were looking for

Wildcat21 · Mar 16, 2007, 10:19 AM

Friends is the correct way to start. But, you have to do things to create a spark. You sound a little too needy though.

Try NOT talking with her for a while. Pull back.

People want wha tthey can't have.

talaniman · Mar 16, 2007, 01:11 PM

Get a life you enjoy without her, and find your own happiness. Enjoy being with FRIENDS and have activities you enjoy. Your probably trying way to hard as there is no need to convince a female to be with you. She will do so if she likes you enough to go out and have a good time. Begging and pleading is not good. Back way off, and get a life you enjoy without her.