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    jihan76's Avatar
    jihan76 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 25, 2013, 06:16 AM
    How can I test my boyfriend to find out if he is stingy or not?
    A man is proposed to me and I am wondering if he is stingy or not? How can I find out about this issue?

    >Threads merged to keep all information and a about this relationship in one place.<
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 25, 2013, 06:45 AM
    If this is the person you care about/love and want to build a life and future with, you do not play games like a immature school girl. You sit down with him and discuss financial matters and expectations. You talk about how money should spent, what each of you think is important, etc. Look for compromises if they are needed.

    Not only do you discuss finances, you also discuss boundaries for good behavior, having time for yourselves and each other, ways to keep disagreements from growing into fights and anything else that comes to mind.

    Remember to listen to his thoughts and needs the way you want him to listen and pay attention to yours.

    In short, communicate with him as an equal. Compromise where needed. If you can't, then don't marry him.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #3

    Sep 25, 2013, 10:04 AM
    Does he spend money on you? Do he go to buy something and then act like he left his money at home and expect you to pay?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,248, Reputation: 10853
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    #4

    Sep 25, 2013, 07:34 PM
    You don't have to test him, just observe him.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,304, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Sep 25, 2013, 07:54 PM
    You find out by spending time with him and seeing how he acts and behaves. Or you just talk to him about money issues and see what his values are.

    Testing is what Jr High girls would do, ( not sure your age) but not what adults in a real relationship should be doing
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
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    #6

    Sep 27, 2013, 09:35 AM
    A rule my mother taught me.

    Always have your own bank account, in your own name, in a bank not used by both of you, and put a little away each payday.

    Always have 'sock' money. Be able to contribute equally- have some idea of where you are going- movie, dinner, etc. so you have enough to pay your own way.

    In my opinion, if he is expected to do all the paying, and you do all the receiving of that, then it is you who is being stingy.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #7

    Sep 27, 2013, 11:42 AM
    Someone can be very generous at first, and not as time goes by.
    Someone who is enamored of you can be generous, and not spend a dime on you if he loses the feeling.
    Someone who wants to marry you can be a lavish spender before marriage, and a penny pincher the day after.
    People fall out of love, fall for someone else, get sick or injured and lose their income, have family with emergency needs for money, or they die.
    Where are you then?
    NO ONE in the world should be totally dependent on someone else.
    jihan76's Avatar
    jihan76 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Sep 27, 2013, 03:20 PM
    A Man is proposed to me and he is calling every 2 days
    A Man is proposed to me and he is calling every 2 days, and he doesn't meet me much, we only met 5 times in 3 months, I am not sure he is really someone weird he wants to get married quickly while he doesn't give much care about meeting and calling... he is 46 years old never get married before... I don't know what to do with him I kept on saying we have to know each other more but he doesn't give the much time... do you think should I continue or not?
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,910, Reputation: 5430
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    #9

    Sep 27, 2013, 04:40 PM
    No. Do not continue. He sounds scary and desperate.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #10

    Sep 27, 2013, 05:19 PM
    How do you know this man? Is this an arranged marriage?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #11

    Sep 27, 2013, 05:42 PM
    Don't go further. If he is this demanding now, what will he be like over the years with you?
    Plus, he says things about himself that you don't know the truth of yet.
    That's one of many reasons to get to know someone for quite a while.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #12

    Sep 27, 2013, 06:16 PM
    You've only met 5 times? He's in his 40's. How old are you? Is this arranged, or did you meet him online?
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #13

    Sep 27, 2013, 06:18 PM
    Never thought of this as an arranged marriage. It probably is.

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