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    jeremaiah's Avatar
    jeremaiah Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 17, 2010, 12:15 AM
    How can I tell if she still loves me
    Hello experts, please read and help my life with your advice to move on..

    I was told that the common sign if your girlfriend does not love you anymore is when she suddenly changed! In fact, she has changed, she is no longer as before, she was trying to spend time with me, and we were always together and happy, we were spending time up to 6 hours everyday, and she was care of me, and I've felt her love to me...

    But NOW everything has changed. These things that I said are not happening anymore:(... its sad.. its like her love is gone... we have still contact, she texts me every morning, and when we text she repplies but always late! She still spends time with me only once a week and only up to 30 minutes not like as before that we spend time up to 6 hours, she always telling me she has to go but I discovered she was on a place palying with her friends boys and girls! She is not busy because the school has finished.
    She once talked me about one guy that he is very talented so I thought she has a crush on him or he maybe the one but I don't have any evidence so I'm still spying her...
    She does not care when I'm hanging out because she doesn't ask me anymore who am I with, where do I go, and what am I doing...

    Now my question, should I worry? What do I do please advice.. how can I tell if she still loves me?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #2

    Jul 17, 2010, 12:37 AM

    You really need to sit down with her and talk about this. That's what relationships are all about.

    Many times in the beginning of a relationship, couples can't get enough time with each other. As the relationship grows, they feel more comfortable spending time apart. That doesn't necessarily mean that she's no longer interested, but that she's just comfortable being with you, and doesn't need to spend 6 hours a day with you in order to feel loved, or in love.

    Only she knows what's going on in her heart and in her head, so ask her. Tell her you're concerned, that you feel that you two are drifting apart and you'd like to know if she's still interested in being with you.

    It's not an easy conversation to have, but that's what it takes to be in a relationship.

    Good luck. :)
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #3

    Jul 17, 2010, 12:48 AM

    Hi OP, I agree with the previous posters reply to you, until you talk to your girl about this you don't really know for sure what's wrong or if anything is wrong. So go talk to her then come back and let us know how it went Please.
    jeremaiah's Avatar
    jeremaiah Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jul 17, 2010, 01:00 AM

    Yeah we have already talked that I'm concerned about this. She told me she really likes staying with me more than with her friends but I hope she is honest to me because I don't feel her love anymore (I can't explain why)... she spends time with her friends more than me but I know that is her happiness so I let her do...
    positiveparent's Avatar
    positiveparent Posts: 1,136, Reputation: 291
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    #5

    Jul 17, 2010, 01:58 AM

    Then the time has come for you to either ask her to spend more time with you and tell her you don't feel anything is between you anymore, or you end it with her, you can't live with uncertainty but if you don't ask you'll never find out. Good Luck.
    jeremaiah's Avatar
    jeremaiah Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jul 17, 2010, 04:10 AM

    There is really something wrong to our relationship.. I don't want to ask her to spend her time with me more because I don't want to force her to do what I want.. all I'm going to do is to wait till she ask me to go out with me and that means she will miss me... please tell me if I'm doing right..
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Jul 17, 2010, 07:45 AM

    Geez guy, either your really young and needy, or very inexperienced, and afraid. You don't sit, and wait for her to come get you, you think of places to go to have fun and share some time with each other put a few bucks in your pocket, and call her, and say lets go!

    How can you cultivate a relationship, if you don't let her know your thinking of her, and want to actually take her places with you?

    Sure things change, and she has other interest besides you. So what? Don't you have things you enjoy doing without her? You SHOULD. Then you are happy with yourself, and can share that happiness when you see each other. You can't sit at home waiting for her to make you happy, are you crazy or something? How boring is that? She has friends, and I hope so do you. And a job, for crissake, to afford to take her places, and enjoy yourselves.

    Relationships are not the whole reason to be happy, it's a bonus for having a happy, healthy, balanced life filled with friends, and activities, that you enjoy.

    Sitting under a female to get attention for hours is no fun, nor is it healthy, and spying on someone because you are too paranoid to trust her, or to inexperienced to know what to do about being with her, can be corrected by you getting off your butt, and do what makes you happy, or what's the point in having a girlfriend in the first place.

    You need an attitude adjustment, and getting a life would be the thing to do. No more spying on her though. That's the sign of something is wrong that you need to change about YOURSELF! Now drop the immature needy boy attitude, and get some confidence in yourself through accomplishing things in your life and being able to share a good time with some one.

    Let me real, what's to miss about a guy who just sits there, and does nothing but need attention, and reassurance?

    You don't need a girlfriend, you need a slap upside your head for wasting so much time on your pity pot. How dare you spy on a female, instead of showing love, and care. Is that what your really about?
    Oddboots's Avatar
    Oddboots Posts: 57, Reputation: 8
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    #8

    Jul 17, 2010, 09:46 PM
    She needs some space because you're sucking up all her oxygen.

    You sound needy and dependent.

    Get a life?
    jeremaiah's Avatar
    jeremaiah Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Aug 16, 2010, 04:03 PM
    Should I worry?
    Threads merged

    My girlfriend has got a job, in library, and she told me that she work with one guy in that library and its been almost 1 month that they work together and I keep thinking that she may cheat on me but I trust her, so for NOW I don't worry for that. But the thing that bothers me is when they work together she may get feelings for him. She said that they are always talking at work. So now should I worry?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Aug 16, 2010, 05:30 PM

    No, but you will anyway won't you?
    QLP's Avatar
    QLP Posts: 980, Reputation: 656
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    #11

    Aug 16, 2010, 05:38 PM

    Are you going to worry about every guy she works with and talks to? Seems like you'll have a lot of grey hairs pretty quickly!
    jeremaiah's Avatar
    jeremaiah Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Aug 17, 2010, 01:38 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    No, but you will anyway won't you?
    Quote Originally Posted by QLP View Post
    Are you going to worry about every guy she works with and talks to? Seems like you'll have a lot of grey hairs pretty quickly!
    no.. for now I'm not worrying but I will if they'll get feelings each other, this is what bothering me
    kaka67's Avatar
    kaka67 Posts: 261, Reputation: 200
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    #13

    Aug 17, 2010, 05:03 AM

    What do you want her to do?

    Not talk to anyone of the opposite sex?

    I think you need to look in the mirror buddy.

    That's where your problem is.

    You keep up the way your going and your going to lose her quick smart. The she can move on and find a real man who is secure and confident.

    Women don't like desperados.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #14

    Aug 17, 2010, 09:35 AM

    What should she do? Stay where you can see her all the time? Call you every 10 minutes? What?

    That's why your threads were merged, to show that the problem lies with YOU, and how you get carried away by your own fears and insecurities as that's what drives partners away quicker than a stinky fart. You really need to address your own issues before you project them on others.

    Get some help, before its to late. While I understand FEAR, you should NOT let it control your thoughts, actions, feelings, or life.

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