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confused8080 · Aug 27, 2010, 11:06 AM

I try to show my man that I care about him and love him more then anything on this earth. I think I need to open up more though with my thoughts or just let him find someone else I think my confidence leves are so low from past relationships and I know I have to get over that and past that. There has never in my life been another man that has loved me like he does maybe I am scared of what is real because I have never had it before he tells me he loves the way I look he loves me that he don't want anyone else maybe I'm scared of that it isn't real I don't know but I do know I love him and done what him to go anywhere from me and I fear that he is on the way out the relationship even know he tells me he isn't giving up on me how do I open me up and let him in and forget about that I might get hurt I have taken so many chances in life with past relationships so out of fear of hurt I think I am enclosed in my own feeling hiding from him... does anyone have any advice for me...

beachloverjohn · Aug 27, 2010, 11:17 AM

You cannot open up because you are afraid of getting hurt. You have been hurt before, as we all have. You also believe that once you show your true feelings, you will be manipulted. By that, I mean he might use your openness to gain an edge and take you for granted. You are so afraid of losing him, you don't want to make him feel too comfortable. You should start to feel like you are very special, and let him earn your affections. You will open up in time, believe me, but not because he asked youto, or demanded it, because you know the time is right. Be strong, don't lose your identity, and don't let anyone control you.

Kitkat22 · Aug 27, 2010, 11:19 AM

Think of the way you would feel if he wasn't there. You don't have to do it all at once. Maybe his favorite dinner.
Put on some soft music and dance and let him hold you as tight as he wants.
Kiss him for no reason or sit in his lap.

BMI · Aug 27, 2010, 11:25 AM

The out of the nowhere kiss KitKat suggests is a powerful tool. Simple to do (not taking into account breath and teeth), and in my expereince, is a great way to just say something special without having to do so.

beachloverjohn · Aug 27, 2010, 11:36 AM

Well if you want to know what works on a man, well I'll tell you what works for me. First cook him his favorite dinner. Serve it with candles and a nice bottle of wine. Make sure there is soft music in the background. Tell him how handsome he looks, and how much tyou enjoy being with him. Then have a nice, romantic slow dance with him. Follow this by wispering sweet things in his ear. Everything else will take its own course.

invest18558 · Aug 27, 2010, 02:45 PM

Communication is key in all relationships. If you're holding back then you may not be giving it your all. I don't know the details of you're relationship, but with your post, it does sound like you do love him. You're seeking advice to express your feelings, which is good.

Personally, as long as he's not abusive (emotionally/physically) and treats you well, I don't see why you're holding back your emotions. How long have you been with him? For some people it takes more time to truly open up, but don't rush it, if you're not ready.

There is always a risk of getting hurt when you love someone. There's no way around it. But at the same time, you may lose someone by not showing them how much you love them. If you are fearful, let him know, so he can comfort your insecurities.