Hi, I'd been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. The last four/ish months has just been a nightmare cause I haven't been happy with him atall. Like I still saw him all the time and WANTED to see him but whenever I was with him I just seemed to be so miserable towards him. I love him so much but I know I can't be with him since this has gone on for a while now. We have broken up a couple times before, my choice. But only lasted a few days. There's also another guy I really like which obviously is mainly the reason I'm not happy with my boyfriend anymore. Anyway, on Friday I ended with him and all he said is fine. And he hasn't contacted me since. I know I shouldn't get back with him. But I don't know how to get over him :'( everyone says oh well there's another guy that likes you so take that opportunity but that just makes me feel guilty. I am constantly missing him and wanting him to text me, but I know I shouldn't. How can I get over him :( :( thank you x

You were possibly trying to drive him away, most do when they think the grass is greener. The bigger question is what was going on to make you unhappy and how you dealt with it.
So you got back together without solving the problems that broke you up, so what were the problems?
That's usually the case, you want to jump the fence and see what's on the otherside. How old are you any way??
Feeling guilty hadn't made you go back to him so drop that excuse. While its normal to take some time for the emotional dust settles and have a chance to adjust to being without him, it's a process you just can't rush.
Read the stickies at the beginning of this forum, or use the link in my signature, below, to get some very excellent ideas that will help you deal with your situation. You will learn a lot.

You seem to me a little bit young and also so selfish... what you have written is a big confussion.
So, you love your boyfriend and also you like another guy, and you think he is the reason that you are not happy anymore with your boyfriend.
Do you know the difference between "love" and "like"?. if you really love your boyfriend you shouldn't even think about dumping him for a guy you like.
As you said, the past 4 months your relationship have been a nightmare, and the reason is the other guy you like.over this time you have started feeling more for this other guy and maybe never discussing it with your boyfriend, which I consider a kind of cheating (lets say emotional cheating), but it happens. Believe me, you are not the only one had this done.
Over these 4 months you have made some plans for yourself maybe never putting your boyfriend into the picture.so you have grown apart with emotions, and in a way lets say you have been healing yourself from your relationship and now the "bum" came.you are ready to move on but you just feel a little bit afraid and insecure.you are already over him... so what you have to do is to leave your boyfriend alone and let him heal too.its time to make him a little favor.enough torturing him.and you can do this by the famous NoContact that we all know about it.enough being selfish and let him move on...

What I see is that you still have feelings for him obviously. Maybe its time to talk and work things out with him. Maybe you don't need to get over him maybe you need him!!

Try to see if things will work out with him first. If you can't get someone out of your heart than get him. Ask yourself and look deep inside you if you still love him. If so than go find him and tell him be4 its too late and you regret it for the rest of your life.

Have you heard of the saying? Never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love? I think your confused. Why don't you use your time to figure out what you really want.

Figure out what you want before toying with more people's emotions. Nobody likes games, and surely you are playing them whether you want to admit it or not.

WHY ARE PEOPLE SO EFFING HARSH ON THESE THINGS? I ask for advice and I get people saying I'm selfish? When it happens to them they'll maybe understand

It has happened to me, along with a lot of other people. I was conflicted when I was 18 between two girls. One of who I liked a lot because of her personality and I was dating someone who was arm candy, someone attractive. I was emotionally cheating and I am ashamed to admit it, but it happens to the best of us. You know what I did, I broke it off with both girls out of respect and to get myself together. If you don't like the advice, then don't take it. It's that simple, we have been in your shoes before and know how these things work out.

I totally respect the advice, I just don't appreciate people just saying your just young and so selfish. It's not nice! It's a nightmareee.

It is a selfish thing though, the quicker you realize that the better you will be. It's okay to be selfish at times, but you have to remember other people's feelings are affected by our actions and decisions. If you are not completely committed to your boyfriend because of feelings and thoughts of this guy then you need to end the relationship because it's not fair to either of you.

I have ended the relationship. I just miss him so much, that's what the bulletin was about. I just want advice on how I can stop thinking about him. Thank you anyway :)

There is no magic pill to make you stop thinking about someone. It takes TIME, just like it took time to get to know each other in a relationship. If there was a magic break up pill then it wouldn't be called heartbreak.

Read the stickies at the beginning of this forum, for some good suggestions on how to move on. There is a link in my signature.

Talaniman Rule # 64- Take time to heal, and let the emotional dust settle after a break up, before jumping into another relationship.

Talaniman Rule #65- Unload the baggage from a broken relationship, before getting into another one. That takes healing and time.

Your relationship has probably just got a little boring and unadventurous that's why you're looking elsewhere. You probably need to learn to be honest with your boyfriend talk more about things that are annoying you or upsetting you instead of running away from it every time.

There;s a reason you got together in the first place its always good to spend time having fun and reiterating why you got together.

This new guy your into it'll go through the same process. Being with someone for a year and a half is obviously not going to be as exciting as it was at the beginning. That's a relationship for you. It takes work.

Missing him is a part of breaking up you just have to figure out if its just because your alone now or if its because you actually miss him. Do you really want to throw what you have away? Or do you want to work at it?

A lot of people on here will tell you to go NC just forget him and get on with your life. That's all well and good when there's serious issues between you and him that have made it impossible for reconciliation.

I'd say your reaction has been a wee bit immature and it may be your just not ready to be in any relationship long term. You may just need some time to sort your head out and realise what you've lost. Or you genuinely feel this relationship can't be saved due to arguments or you two just not getting along at all.

Long distance relationships are very hard to maintain, no matter how both partners feel. But this new guy offers the same thing after he leaves when the summer is over.