We are a foreigner here in a country and we live here for a better life. My girlfriend went on vacation to our country (about thousand miles away) for 2 months. It was in 2011. We have been together for 5 years till now. I just can't believe that when she was on vacation she cheated on me, she had a boyfriend. I can't believe that only in 1 month that she's on vacation she already had a boyfriend! But that's not all. There was one more guy who has been courting on her. The thing is she admitted to that guy that she had a crush on that guy! Yes exactly that guy who is courting to her! Is it normal? To admit? If yes never mind :)

You may ask me how did I know that she cheated on me. Well that's really hard. I asked her to admit what was really happened when she was on vacation. The hard part is that it took me 1 year convincing her to admit. That means I knew it all that she cheated on me after 1 year! She didn't want to say it because it would really hurt me but id prefer getting hurt by truths than lies. Yes I asked and asked and asked again if she had boyfriend because I was pretty sure that she had!

Now I'm depressed. I don't know what to do. I know that at the moment she loves me so much. I believe that she hadn't have sexual activity (thats what she said). She told me that they have only dated 2 times. What should I do? Please help me :( break ups? Or what I don't but I still love her :(

How old is she? Her cheating while on vacation could be due to immaturity. In any case, you need to decide if it is something you can truly forgive. Meaning, you could trust her again and not hold it over her in the future. If you feel you can, then talk it out with her. Set expectations for the relationship going forward. Tell her what you need from her to trust her again and make it work. If you don't think you can truly forgive her, then you need to move on. Your feelings will change in time. Eventually, you will not miss her any more.

-One Woman's Opinion

First of all I really want to thank you for your response as I'm need of help.

She turned 18 in April 2011 and went on vacation in July at the same year

There is nothing I can do but to forgive her and keep away my anger. I don't want to revenge. I can forgive her so we will be always a friend but accepting her to be my girlfriend again is really hard.

Do you think she's immature at that age?
Thank you again.

Yes, 18 is immature when it comes to relationships. At that age people are still largely influenced by their impulses. They don't have enough experience yet to understand their own emotions. This is why everything feels intense at that age. Everything is still new.

If you have to keep your anger away, meaning you are still angry, then you haven't truly forgiven her. If you get back with her, you will have trust issues or resentment. It's best to remain friends until you can work through your anger.

If it is meant to be, it will be. If it is not meant to be, you will move on. Time is the only thing that heals this type of hurt.

You are fully right that right now I can't forgive her but time goes by, maybe I so maybe I will.. But that's not easy.
We were on a serious relationship. 5 years is not short. It is really hard to forgive.
So in my case do you think she cheated on me due to immaturity? I really think yes.

You said the same thing that my friend said to me. It could be her immaturity. Everything is still new

Thank you my friend. Im understanding it all now.

Well, she did know it was wrong to cheat. She was old enough to know that. However, at that age people are more impulsive and make bad choices more readily.

I think you are doing the right thing by giving yourself time. You are right, 5 years is a long time. Someone told me once that it takes half the length of the relationship to get over it. I'm not sure if that is true all the time, but it seems to have been true for me.

Good luck to you.

Thank you. I don't know what will happen if I come back to her, continue relationship, or leave it. I don't want to decide in rash. Time is the keyword.

Thank you bro(sis if you are female)