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Expert
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Sep 16, 2010, 05:48 AM
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How old are you both? That's very important, as she may well be the good person you think she is, and obviously she is in much pain, and just needs a friend to help her through a tough time, and break ups can be very emotional.
I have to tell you though that while you obviously care a great deal, that love romance stuff is way to soon, just because of the break up. Yes jumping from him to you would be a rebound situation, and as she heals from the break up, she may be grateful to you for being there for her emotionally, but may have friends feelings, and NOT about being a girlfriend to you, even though she seems willing NOW.
That's one of the leading dangers of falling for someone who has just went through a break up. That's why your ages are important because rebound relationships are seldom long lasting, or even fulfilling, because one partner is usually in deeper than the other, and often thinks by waiting, and supporting the hurt one, they will have a chance at romance later, but what is lost is that it may be a very long wait until the potential partner has healed enough to even consider dating.
What usually happens is that a friendship develops on her part, but you will want more, and when she is healed, she will not need that attention, and emotional support you have been giving her, and her interest can well turn to another besides you.
Being a good supportive friend is no guarantee that she will see you as a romantic partner, when she has healed, even if you spend a lot of time together, and she really enjoys it, and may even seem like your going together at times.
Thats the biggest danger of falling to fast for someone that still has not healed from her last relationship, and I think its much worse when she breaks up with him, to spend time with you, but has you on hold while she heals.
I know you like her, and want a chance for more, but while being a supportive friend is a good thing, its seldom a path to romance, and a relationship. She needs the attention, but you are in danger of falling to deep to be able to back away without hurting yourself, when she decides she is strong enough on her own to explore her options, and opportunities after she heals.
That will suck big time if you invest your heart, and be what she needs, and expect more from her later.
I advise extreme caution, and don't go overboard with the attention/friend thing, and thats why your ages are important to know, to get a sense of your maturity level, and if you can handle even putting in the time for such a person who is needy of attention, and support, because dumping someone for someone else, and wanting time is a big red flag that the nice person you want to give your heart too, may not deserve it, or worse, know what to do with it just because of age, maturity, or inexperience, and not because she is evil, or conniving, just needy.
Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.
Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and that's only after the lust has worn off for you both.
Talaniman Rule- Never ever mess with any one who has just dumped their partner
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