Hey everyone, how you doing! I figured I'd try something like this so I can express myself as well as have real people share their opinions. I'm feeling really down! :/

So the story is...
I am young, I've been in a two year relationship with a girl who is 2 years younger than me. Let's just say, I have a special place in my heart for her. But after so many conflicts with our long distance relationship, I began to abuse weed and cigarettes as a way to run away from the dramatic world I associate myself with. After seeing dramatic changes in myself (Very judgmental, a little less social, grumpy, unsatisfied), I noticed how much I have swayed the relationship out of my reach as I pushed her away with my controlling ways. Don't get me wrong, I spend most of my time trying to make her happy but it's not surprising that Sh*t happens...

Now that we've been broken up (or taking a break) for three weeks... I notice how much I love this girl. I cut my habits of smoking and started working out and began to build new social circles. But no matter what... At the end of the day, I'm thinking about this girl. We say we will end up together in the end, but we need to grow up and build a new foundation at our new university. We can still be friends, and keep in touch, but I am so confused on whether I should ignore her and go on with my life and come back to her when I can hold a consistent and productive schedule.

But at the same time, I'd really like to prove to her that I am a better person... I'm just pretty depressed and confused... And I regret all the negative energy I brought into the relationship (which was mutual because she obvs contributed as well). I really want to be happy and just have my best friend (her) back :/ talking to other girls is great, but not the same (of course)... What should I do ? :/

How about the two of you (if you truly love each other) start acting like mature individuals and work together to improve your relationship? Would she be agreeable to that? If you can't work together now and instead decide to go your separate ways, you very likely won't get back together ever again. One of both of you will find someone else, and life will go on.

So, are you willing to continue to better yourself, and is she willing to be there for you emotionally and in person whenever possible as your partner in this?

Improving the relationship is obviously the key, but finding the right time to improve is the question. Transitioning the mentality of a 1 and a half year long distance relationship to moving to the same university was where the problem started. We didn't take the time to come out and meet other people and build a social foundation. This break we are having is basically... "I still want you" "I'm not looking for anything else but building friendships". Ever since the break, people have seen significant changes in the both of us as we broke out of our shell and expanded our social network. Between her and me, we still want each other yet we feel we need a little more time to have a solid foundation. It's just that... she sees the progress I have made, and she likes it a lot and wants me but at the same time, she needs me to prove to her that I can apply it towards our relationship which confuses me and gets me stuck. How should I approach her during this break to prove to her? I don't want to disconnect myself and her chase me... yet I feel like chasing her wouldn't be a good option either.

You can't prove it to her. You two are apart, broken up, not in regular communication, not together. You can stand on your head, and it won't mean a thing.

Only if you are in an exclusive, committed relationship with her can you prove it with everyday actions showing you can be trusted and relied on.

Do as she says, and give it more time. Frankly though if she wants you to prove something, then its time to do more than ignore some one.

Its time to disappear.

I guess that is what I've been contemplating.. staying friendly and keep communications.. or just disappearing.. I don't know man, I always thought the worse thing you could to do to someone is ignore them.. but I guess that's what imma have to do... if I can't prove it to her while we're not together... then I don't know what to do at all. I guess ill just focus on me...

When they talk crazy against your interests, it exactly right to be unavailable to them. You can never prove anything to a person who has an unwillingness to compromise, and work with you to build while she pursues doing her own thing. She is but weaning herself from your influence, and delaying the inevitable, while you flap in the wind, becoming an option, while she remains your priority.

Having all things her way, and none yours is NOT compromise, nor is it fair. When that happens its your dignity, and self respect that's at issue here, not hers, as she does nothing to mend the rift, that has caused you so much confusion, and frustration.

She isn't confused, or frustrated, she is having a ball, but are YOU?

Tbh, this break (keeping off communications) has helped me reach out to so many friends and new people that are now in my daily social life. I am enjoying the new daily routines I do now, but I guess I'm overthinking the situation. I'm going to continue doing my own thing, and obviously she will do hers. And I will keep my distance... it is just that recently, we met up and went over feelings, and ended up being intimate. We agreed that we needed the break to focus on ourselves more like school and work, and that we would end up being back together. Which left me confused because I didn't know if I were to go back to daily communication but I think I'm going to take your advice... and disappear, again

I'm not sure. What is a conditional break up