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    surbhi garg's Avatar
    surbhi garg Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 20, 2012, 04:02 PM
    How to accept that he is not worthy of my love?
    I have been in a relationship for the past 4 years.Iinitially like every relationship it was all rosy till I discovered him flirting online with girls. That was like a turning point for the trust I have lost. Still I decided to continue though I was never able to bestow my trust on him, though our relationship was mostly a long distance one, I never thought of anybody else except him. We fought several times because of the frustration that creeps into me as he was often clumsy in contacting on his own. Still our relationship survived after some lovey dovey talks.. but what happened in past few months was simply horrendous.

    I came to his long distant place and discovered his chats and intimate pics with some other girl, he was also searching a bride for himself on some matrimonial site. I was shattered to know all that. That day he cried and apologized for all the crap he had done to me. As I didn't want to lose him I gave him a second chance to get the things clear and be a nice man.

    From that day onward I have seen no improvement in him as he didn't abide by what he said and I started feeling the same behavior he used to display when he was dating some other girl before. I truly loved him have been loyal never ever that of anybody else besides him. Now that I have told him that I can not bear anymore of his lies and have barred all the contacts. I'm not a able to accept why this happened to me. I feel so restless the whole day and have a major exam in a month want to study but still I have a ray of hope that may be someday he came to realize what he lost.

    On one hand I want to come out of it, on the other hand I feel miserable and wants him back. Its getting so tough for me as I am obsessed with this that's every second. I don't have friends and family here, the place I have come to give my exam, and feels so depressed and lonely.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #2

    Apr 20, 2012, 05:48 PM
    He's obviously no good for you, but what you are feeling is not obsession towards him, it's fear of being alone. He just happens to be there so you use it as your reason to stay together. You say you are lonely, but how will you ever find someone, when you hold onto someone that creates a feeling of loneliness while you have them?
    mmresd's Avatar
    mmresd Posts: 2,002, Reputation: 553
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    #3

    Apr 20, 2012, 06:36 PM
    Concentrate on your exams, maybe one day he will come back, but he won't be changed. He will just do the same thing over and over, especially if you are so easily accepting him back. It is time to move on, focus on things that matter.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Apr 20, 2012, 11:06 PM
    Your decision was a good one, so give yourself a chance to recover from wasting your time and giving your heart to the wrong person, who not only didn't deserve it, but has no clue what to do with it. Just hang in there with not contacting him, and in time, lots of time to be sure, and you will get beyond the old feelings and the loneliness.

    Get some study buddies and ace the exam. Have some fun in between with the girls. Oh that's right, you have none. Well get some why don't you. Now is as good a time as any.
    surbhi garg's Avatar
    surbhi garg Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 21, 2012, 06:18 AM
    It feels like I was chasing him and he never loved me. I was a just a backup plan for him.. m trying to heal but don't have time. Have to ace the exam.. my own future, my parents dream are linked to it
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Apr 21, 2012, 07:25 AM
    Don't let your feelings distract you then, focus on your passing the exam. Get busy, get some study mates. You are not the only one trying to pass are you??
    surbhi garg's Avatar
    surbhi garg Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Apr 21, 2012, 08:36 AM
    I don't have any study mates as m out of my country for the exam and m staying with my aunt here..
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #8

    Apr 21, 2012, 08:56 AM
    Don't make excuses to justify your misery, attack your concerns by focusing on the task at hand. Is it more important to pass the exam, or wallow in your losses? Decide, and act accordingly.

    That's the real test for you, focusing beyond your own emotions on what's important! Don't let the situation beat you, and don't beat yourself. I don't think you will.
    surbhi garg's Avatar
    surbhi garg Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Apr 21, 2012, 08:59 AM
    Will try my best..
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #10

    Apr 21, 2012, 09:39 AM
    You will do it, try is an excuse for people who plan on failure.
    surbhi garg's Avatar
    surbhi garg Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Apr 21, 2012, 11:46 AM
    I want to block that last ray of hope that he will come to me one day.. how to block that
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #12

    Apr 21, 2012, 03:32 PM
    Stay focused on YOU, and what you want, and reject him, and what he wants from YOU.
    Xoxoxo123456's Avatar
    Xoxoxo123456 Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #13

    Apr 21, 2012, 05:21 PM
    Awh babygirl lisen you don't need someone like that! Trust me I've been with guys like that and they never hange, they may say they will and won't to but the reality is it won't if anything it might get worst? What's a relationship were you can't trust your partner and just be happy? Iunderstnd you just an't forget about him but I think you should, I don't want to sound mean but he's sounds, well like an a**. Leave him. And he'll soon realize what he lost. Find another guy that's going to treat you like a queen

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