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bigsmile · Apr 9, 2008, 12:02 PM

Hi! Me and my ex broke up 3 months ago, we had sex one time after break up, and today we met each other again, just to talk. We talked about us, and he said he can't say "no" if I need him, if I need his caressing. He also said that he conquered his space (I knew that was the reason why he broke up, now I'm sure) and he's good. I asked him why he doesn't look for me, if he still care about me. He said it's because he needs to prevent any situation... I asked him why he's afraid and he said it was because it can make a restart possible...

So, now I'm totally sure that he still have feeling for me, but he has a lot of fear of get back together. I would like to get back, what should I do now?

COOKIE MONSTER · Apr 9, 2008, 12:48 PM

Why did you break up in the first place??
If you don't mind me asking

It all depends on what made you break up

bigsmile · Apr 9, 2008, 01:21 PM

There was no reason... he never said "i'm breaking because of....." . I've been thinking and looking for one reason, and I believe the reason is that I was trying to change him. He told me that a lot of times when we were together, but my pont of view was "i'm not trying to change you, i'm helping you to be better". Now I know that was a mistake. I read "men ar from mars,women from venus" and I'm sure about it.

svatnsdal · Apr 9, 2008, 01:25 PM

Maybe he's scared. Maybe he has a lot of feelings for you and he's scared of getting back together and having you leave him. Why not just give it another go?

ampersandra · Apr 9, 2008, 01:31 PM

You can't impose your set of beliefs upon him. What you believe to be "better" may not be what he believes is "better". It sounds like he needs some breathing space and you need to relax a little. He seems to be a bit of a pushover who is trying to improve himself, ON HIS OWN TERMS. Just leave him be. It will show that you are confident about him and trust that he'll do what he needs to. If he decides to return to you, all the better. If not, at least he'll know that you are a good and understanding friend.

chuff · Apr 9, 2008, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by bigsmile

hi! me and my ex broke up 3 months ago, we had sex one time after break up, and today we met each other again, just to talk. we talked about us, and he said he can't say "no" if i need him, if i need his caressing. he also said that he conquered his space (i knew that was the reason why he broke up, now i'm sure) and he's good. i asked him why he doesnt look for me, if he still care about me. he said it's because he needs to prevent any situation...i asked him why he's affraid and he said it was because it can make a restart possible...

so, now i'm totally sure that he still have feeling for me, but he has a lot of fear of get back together. i would like to get back, what should i do now?

I'm sorry, but maybe it's because I'm a guy... but I don't read anything here that says he still has feelings for you. He's a afraid of a restart but has feelings at the same time?

talaniman · Apr 9, 2008, 06:57 PM

He may have feelings, and he may have fears, either way it doesn't look like he is ready for an exclusive relationship, with you in any event.

COOKIE MONSTER · Apr 9, 2008, 07:05 PM

Just 1 thing------- NEVER TRY TO CHANGE ANYBODY IT DOESN'T WORK
They only change if they want to

Everyday we change on are own with nobody's help,the things we do,the decisions we make,make us change little by little

BUT NOBODY CAN MAKE US CHANGE EXCEPT ARE SELVES