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    martinjakson12's Avatar
    martinjakson12 Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    May 5, 2019, 10:09 AM
    Help with a weird relationship
    So I will try to summarize this as much as I can.To make it short and simple to read.<br><br>basically I am fat all right what I did 1 year ago is asked a&nbsp;beautiful girl to be my girlfriend and (we wasn't even friends!) its the&nbsp;weirdest story you ever going to heard.So 1 day I have talked to her in instagram and asked her if we can be together and she simply refused and said that she have a boyfriend then I simple&nbsp;apologized for her and I told her that we can be friends.Then we started to talk obviously it was only me that write something like a whole paragraph and she would reply with (ok, yeah me too,etc.. ) and she doesn't even reply that fast she takes between a day to 2 days to answer. And suddenly 1 day I asked her about why she takes too much time to answer me back and she said because my boyfriend doesn't allow me to. But what makes me scratch my head is I know that she speaks with other boy's from my class and anyone but not me.<br><br>So now I have made my mind and this is what I am willing to do -&gt; am willing to lose weight go to the gym for this 2 or 3 months so I can lose some weight and to look much better than before then buy a gift and go ask her again. (And by the way I don't think that she really had a boyfriend for really am 99% sure about that maybe she refused me because am fat or because she doesn't know me)<br><br>and almost forgot when I came back to school from my vacation she said hi to me and even laughed and talked with me sometimes when we were playing cards. So I guess she is OK with me.&nbsp;<br><br>in need of help from you guys I really want her to be my girlfriend. + I really want to start talking with her from now until I surprise her 1 day when I tell her that I love her again.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,919, Reputation: 10852
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    #2

    May 5, 2019, 01:17 PM
    What if she rejects you after you have worked so hard to get healthy and buff to impress her? Will you just go back to being the fart guy again? I think its best for such changes to be for you because that's what you want and not to impress someone. It may not be so healthy to focus your life on someone else who has not enough time for you, or consider maybe you are a bit insecure and not confident enough. You think she may have other things to do than drop what she is doing to return your calls or texts immediately?

    I must be honest my friend, your post is not that healthy of an approach to this situation but maybe that's just me but I don't make a person a priority that has me as an option, and maybe friends is all that can come of this. Hope for the best plan for the worst. I hope working out and losing weight helps you with your life, even if you don't get the girl.
    ma0641's Avatar
    ma0641 Posts: 15,681, Reputation: 1012
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    #3

    May 5, 2019, 01:26 PM
    Going back and reading all your past posts indicate you have some great insecurity about yourself-" am a wierdo". Most schools offer counseling, look into that part. Is the 12 in your posting name your age?
    martinjakson12's Avatar
    martinjakson12 Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    May 5, 2019, 04:41 PM
    @talaniman everything you have said is right but I was asking here because I get answers from you guys helping me out in my life. Thank you for answering me and yeah I will just try 1 last time to get her attention and if she rejected me again I will just stop and move on finding another girl.

    edit : nah am sure she doesn't have anything to drop and not to talk with me because i have seen that she text everyone in my class + her friends but not me.

    @ma0641 no am not am 17.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,919, Reputation: 10852
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    #5

    May 6, 2019, 09:57 AM
    That you expect her to drop what she is doing to reply to you is a sign you should pay attention to and back away gracefully. Being friendly in person is much different than having you as a romantic interest, and be aware she owes you know explanation for why she doesn't just drop everything when you want.

    It's been referred to over the years as "TAKING THE HINT".
    martinjakson12's Avatar
    martinjakson12 Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    May 6, 2019, 04:17 PM
    @talaniman that's something that explains it I thought about what you have said and I remembered that day before I told her that I love her and asking her for a date when I firstly asked her I told her "i need to talk with you about something really important" then she responded to me in like less than 5 min and she was at least caring about me she told me "what is it?". Then I told her that I want her to out with me and to be my girlfriend and I have told her that I love her. Then from that day she stopped saying (good morning to me!). Like whenever I go to school I say hi everyone good morning and she does not even look at me. I guess I made something wrong when I asked her and was not ready for getting rejected.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,773, Reputation: 5427
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    #7

    May 6, 2019, 04:31 PM
    I'm a female. I'm thinking you let loose with a lot of information (go out with her, want her to be your girlfriend, and you love her) much too fast and too early. You scared her! Now, start over. Start with conversation and become her friend. That's all.
    martinjakson12's Avatar
    martinjakson12 Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    May 7, 2019, 08:21 AM
    @Wondergirl thank you for this advice but do you think that it may work this way? Or do I need to apologize for her (again) for what I have done before.
    waltero's Avatar
    waltero Posts: 68, Reputation: 5
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    #9

    May 7, 2019, 08:35 AM
    Ask her if she wants a Stalker. Every Girl wants a Stalker... stalkers are in. Look, you really need to keep away from "weird relationship."
    You Don't want to become ""that Guy""
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,773, Reputation: 5427
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    #10

    May 7, 2019, 08:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by martinjakson12 View Post
    @Wondergirl thank you for this advice but do you think that it may work this way? Or do I need to apologize for her (again) for what I have done before.
    No, just be polite and friendly with her and with others. If you behave yourself, she will figure out that you've turned over a new leaf. Meanwhile, stop eating carbs and sugar (junk food, cookies, cake, pie, chips, pretzels, bread -- yeah, I know, that's no fun!) and start a daily exercise program of walking and other kinds of movement. Report back to me next Tuesday.
    martinjakson12's Avatar
    martinjakson12 Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
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    #11

    May 7, 2019, 02:12 PM
    @Wondergirl thank you so much for your help. And by the way am already doing what you have said am on a diet :).
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,773, Reputation: 5427
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    #12

    May 7, 2019, 02:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by martinjakson12 View Post
    @Wondergirl thank you so much for your help. And by the way am already doing what you have said am on a diet :).
    Don't forget -- we meet again next Tuesday for your progress report!
    martinjakson12's Avatar
    martinjakson12 Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
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    #13

    May 7, 2019, 03:40 PM
    @Wondergirl for sure I will report back.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 53,919, Reputation: 10852
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    #14

    May 8, 2019, 04:52 AM
    If you spend as much time and effort on yourself as you did chasing and impressing some female you should get some pretty good results. I wish you much luck.
    waltero's Avatar
    waltero Posts: 68, Reputation: 5
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    #15

    May 8, 2019, 01:35 PM
    when I tell her that I love her again.

    Being in love with someone and loving that person are two different things.

    When you're in love with someone, you're aiming to reach some goal. When you love someone, you aren't rushing to reach the finish line. When you're in love, reality doesn't always line up with your version of it.
    martinjakson12's Avatar
    martinjakson12 Posts: 16, Reputation: 2
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    #16

    May 8, 2019, 01:46 PM
    @talaniman thank you so much man.

    @waltero everything you said is true I will keep that advice thank you.

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