Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    sonamanik's Avatar
    sonamanik Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 18, 2012, 09:51 AM
    Help wanted
    I was with my boyfriend for four years of college together all the time.. came to college together . Left ,ate slept,talked together... were like together ALL the TIME. We were having a happy time. But since two months both of us are working and in different offices and that too late hours. From where we used to stay together all the time now it is like we don't even get time to talk. N OMG.. m freaking out! It started with issues like not giving time to me like not speaking to me when free .not sharing with me all the talks that he has with his friends and now so much so that me getting insecure about very minor issues. It is very frustrating because somewhere at the back of my mind I know that what m saying or doing is not right but I don't know I can't control this thing. I know he loves me very much but I don't know I get angry very soon and it takes him hours to make me normal again. But now due to his office and long hours of travelling and him not able to meet me, even he gets frustrated and gets angry; something that m not used to! This makes me even more sad. I am not able to help myself as I know I should give him space .it will improve our relationship but I am not able to do it.. please help me out... I need it seriously.. I don't want to lose him. Please help
    Magpie95's Avatar
    Magpie95 Posts: 97, Reputation: 14
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Sep 18, 2012, 10:57 AM
    This is typical with people as they begin working after college. Work changes a person's life. It can make you tired and worn out. The key to a good relationship is being able to weather these changes. You must accept things as they are and try to be a support to each other. Your current lives just no longer allow for so much time together. You must make the best of the time you do have. Be understanding and work to manage the change to both of your lives.

    This will happen throughout your life. There will always be changes. How you deal with them is what matters. Let him know you are there for him but don't nag. When you do have time together, appreciate it. Enjoy it. Make it special. Don't spend it arguing, nagging or worrying. That's what makes good relationships tick. Its okay to let him know that the change is difficult for you, but also that you are trying to adapt.. and that you appreciate him still.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #3

    Sep 18, 2012, 11:27 AM
    'Long hours of travelling?' Are you doing half of it?
    There's also the job pressure differences. Does his job expect work until the project is complete, even if it means working long days, while yours allows you to go home at an exact hour, or are they about equally demanding?
    We can't make you curb your anger and frustration. You have to ask yourself which is worth more, expressing your feelings and risk losing him, or keeping him and accepting the need to stay happy and pleasant around him. You don't really believe that yelling at him is going to make things better...
    The next time you see him, go overboard to just be glad to see him, and make a supreme effort to say nothing about time apart. See what happens.

    Oh, and join groups or classes after work, and make friends at work to go with in groups. You need 'filler' to keep busy and not wreck this relationship by being so exclusive.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

Wanted : help [ 1 Answers ]

I have a parents who always feel low because they were bankrupt when I was small.My relatives don't really respect them.they constantly nag my sis.. they want to control her so much right from childhood.. Even if she talks wit her best friends they accuse her saying Are you both lesbians! And says...

Help wanted [ 2 Answers ]

My niece ran away with a boy and got her nikah done in a masjid, the next day when we came 2 know, we brought her back home, now she has realised her mistake and wants khula from this boy, but the boy is refusing 2 sign, so what should we do what are the steps that need to be taken. The girl is in...

I want her, she wants me, but he wanted her first [ 3 Answers ]

:confused: Alrite here it is, a friend of mine was really into thi9s girl and I didn't know exactly what he saw in her an said so. However about a month or so after that I met her at a party an ended up going back to hers an being with her. Next week or so we decided to laeve it cause of the...


View more questions Search