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    imation's Avatar
    imation Posts: 284, Reputation: 36
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    #1

    Jul 19, 2010, 02:10 AM
    Help Me Understand How She Feels.
    OK, I've just had an argument with a girl... and I would really love to know why! Haha
    There is a little bit of backstory so you can get your bearings, so here goes.

    I've been seeing a girl for about 4/5 months now, we've slept together a couple of times, but mostly we just hang out and enjoy eachothers company. We are falling madly in love, and spend every moment with each other.. she woke me up the other morning with a phone call and said "i think you should go look out your window" and there she was standing out the front, smiling big as life. So we are very close.
    Problem number 1. she has a boyfriend... Don't even get me started on all the "how could she do that?" "how could you let her do that?" "what if she does the same thing to you?" kind of stuff, because trust me, I'm asking these questions of myself. Just conceide that there are a lot of things going on with Bob (the boyfriend, fake name) and he's not the most GENTLE person around, k?

    Anyway, to get to the argument...

    We've been talking about how my friends will perceive her once we are together (thats the plan)... she feels that they'll hate her immediately because of the cheating. I've talked to my friend about this and she understands that there are a lot of feelings going around and that she obviously makes me happy.. and that she's is more concerned and protective of me, than hating her for her current situation.. and said that "the boyfriend must be pretty stupid or she's a really good actor"... the girl I'm seeing (call her emily) got a bit defensive when I mentioned this "stupid" comment and everything else and said that bob knows her and I are friends.. why would he get suspicious or jealous of a friend? Emily has other guy friends and bob knows this, and obviously see's me as the same... so no need for jealousy.
    I think that the argument started from me discussing these things with my friends... I felt that she took the stance of "they arent really involved why do you need to tell them everything?" I told her that my friends were comforting me.. and helping me to sort through all the confusion...
    Anyway... she's just left... she's told me before that she needs her space when arguing so I didn't harass her to stay and talk it out.. she told me she'd text me later, and that she'd see me tomorrow...
    Can someone please help me figure out how she might be feeling?. I don't want to be a dope and just forget it... I really think that I had a right to tell my friends all these things... do you agree? Please help, and answers are welcome.. :)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Jul 19, 2010, 09:32 AM

    The cheating is bad enough, that your involving your friends in this private matter, and they know she is cheating is awful, and of course she is mad at this turn of events. How would you like it if she was telling her friends she was cheating with you behind her boyfriends back?

    Can you imagine how that makes her look?

    I know you don't even want to address the cheating part, but why throw it in her face telling her the opinion of others about her personal business, that she THOUGHT was just between the two of you?

    That may be what she feels, a breach of trust and betrayal, from YOU.

    But what do people who cheat, and lie, and are dishonest expect?
    hbug's Avatar
    hbug Posts: 27, Reputation: 5
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    #3

    Jul 27, 2010, 09:50 AM
    Well I hate this girl and you shouldn't get involved with her at all
    She has a boyfriend and you're fine with that?
    I'm sorry but that's childish of you. You need to find a girl that'll love you and only you

    But for the arguments sake I agree with talaniman

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