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    missBirmingham's Avatar
    missBirmingham Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 8, 2010, 10:05 AM
    Help me rebuild a relationship with my child's estranged father
    When I was 17 I fell pregnant buy a 19 year old man who told me to chose him or the baby.
    I kept the baby and he left me when I was about 9 weeks pregnant.
    I have never got over the fact that he hasn't really botherd, he came about 5 times since her birth.
    Our daughter is 11 soon how can I persuade him to start taking notice of her and been a part of her life,( he is a quiet bloke and doesn't say much)?
    I
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
    		  
    #2

    Jan 8, 2010, 10:26 AM

    Take him to court to get child support. I'm sure he'll take notice then.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #3

    Jan 8, 2010, 10:50 AM

    You can tell him that from a psychological standpoint the type of relationship a girl has with her father is very important in determining how her relationships with other men in her future will pan out.

    She may have abandonment issues as an adult because he failed to be there for her.

    Then again,if he is going to be an ineffectual , uncaring father perhaps she is better off not having a relationship with him at all.

    A parent who is going to contribute nothing to a child's emotional growth is better off staying an absent parent.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
    		  
    #4

    Jan 8, 2010, 12:40 PM

    Be honest with yourself. Do you want him in her life for her or you?

    Does she want to know her biological father? Unless, she truly wants to get to know him then I wouldn't attempt anything to get them together.

    On the parental stand point: Is there any child support and, if not, why not? Do you have his and his family's medical background? Today, it is very important that your daughter have information on any diseases/conditions that might run through her genetic make-up like heart disease, cancers, etc.
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