My fiancé choked me tonight multiple times and covered my mouth when I tried to scream. I could not breathe. Couldn't even take in a breath. It was the first time I really felt as though he could kill me. I live in fear of what it will be like when he is gone yet I know this makes no sense. I blame myself because I have made my share of mistakes in the relationship. I don't know how to make myself leave.

Why are you typing this? Why aren't you at the police station?

You call the police and report him, You walk out the door and don't go back.
You must have been abused for a long time for you to feel this is your fault.

The only way it can be your fault again is if you don't just walk out. Go to family, to a shelter, anywhere. If he goes to work, pack a bag and leave then.

You don't need help, you need to do it.

You are right. I need to stop making excuses and just do it.