When I first met my boyfriend he was always so happy and full of life. Always down for a good time, and loved having me around and involved. I had recently split up with the father of my kids (I have 3 little girls 7,5 1/2, and 4 which he knew about from the start and didn't mind) who I had been with for 8 years, and was having a rough time adjusting to being a single mom (with work, and life in general). The girls' dad cut ties for the most part leaving me to take on all responsibilities alone and I got overwhelmed. My boyfriend was always there for me though, but the stress became too much and I let some really important things get messed up (like my job) and my normally on-top-of-it, responsible personality changed to one that was helpless and irresponsible.

One of the main reasons my boyfriend was attracted to me was because of how together and responsible I was. He said that's what he's been looking for... an independent woman who knew what she wanted and how to get it. My boyfriend is 39 and has always been self-employed, I am 23 and had a good job making 25.00/hour working in the telecommunicaitons industry under major pressure day-to-day. Once all the personal stress arose in my life, the career stress was too much and I quit (leaving me unemployed and needy). I thought, "Well, he's got his own business why couldnt I help him?", but he didn't see it that way. His image of me changed drastically, and I could sense that he started looking at me like an inconvenience rather than steel like he had before.

I have a job now, through a friend of his, which he still doesn't look at it the same as my other job. He has told me that he likes the person I was when we met, and not the person I am now... He never initiates sex, and even acts like it's a chore when we do do it (which is only if I start blowing him in his sleep or something pathetic like that). He took on finishing remodeling my house so that I wasn't living in a dump anymore, and since I wasn't working, put all the money involved out hisself (which he throws in my face all the time). I fully intend on paying him back and have started to, but that doesn't seem to be making a difference. He would have never went out to socialize anywhere without me before, and always wanted me to be included, now he is leaving me alone most of the time and a few times has not come home at all.

I know that fighting isn't the answer and avoid confrontation as much as possible, but if I don't say anything he seems to think it's OK. I love him and I trust him, but the change in his attitude and his image of me and lack of respect makes me think that he will soon stray. I've addressed this with him and he says he loves me and doesn't want anyone else but me, but his actions say different... What can I do to regain his respect and make him desire me like he did before? I am attractive and sexy, I have a nice body and take care of myself... so physically there is no where to improve... but because of all this myself confidence and self esteem is shot. Now having a job it is improving, but this is a huge road block in recovering completely. HELP ME!! What can I do??