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    luciana87's Avatar
    luciana87 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 31, 2013, 03:26 PM
    I need help
    Hello, I would like to tell my story and hopefully someone can help me... I always were a person that easily forgives, and people never appreciate what I do for them, even my friends. But what its making me sad is the fact that I'm dating a guy that has cheated on me, I don't really know if he really likes me or if he's just with me because I sometimes I help him not only by comforting him, but also help him when he needs money... I know that maybe he likes me but I'm not sure... My all life I was scared to end up alone, I don't know if that's the reason I'm staying in this relationship, we do everything together... And deep down I hope that he'll change but being so vulnerable its eating me alive cause I always wanted to be an independent woman... But I feel like he's just using me, but I'm so weak that whenever he calls me I forget everything.. Can someone tell me what can I do to get ready of this disease ( dependency)?
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Jul 31, 2013, 03:30 PM
    If he's always asking for money.. and never paying you back... add in the cheating... then its clear he's using you because you let him.

    Keep in mind everyone isn't like that... so its time to move on and find someone that treats you a lot better... and there ARE a lot of guys out there that will.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #3

    Jul 31, 2013, 03:51 PM
    You realize the problem and have defined it very well. Now, what would work best for you to keep you from running into his arms every time he calls and keep you from handing him money?

    Go to your library and check out Codependent No More by Melody Beattie (and then read some of her other books).
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #4

    Jul 31, 2013, 05:07 PM
    I learned to tell people "You never paíd me back the last time which put me in the hole by $_________. ''
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
    Entomology Expert
     
    #5

    Jul 31, 2013, 05:41 PM
    You know... you sound like you are fairly intelligent because you already know what is wrong... you know what the problem is but you don't have the inner strength to do something about it.

    Yes, he is using you. Yes, you are allowing him to treat you this way. It may hurt you at first but I can almost guarantee you will feel so much better about yourself and life in general if you were not with him. As was already said, not everyone is like this. There is someone else out there for you... someone that will respect you and treat you right. The first step is to start respecting yourself.

    Good luck.
    luciana87's Avatar
    luciana87 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Jul 31, 2013, 10:31 PM
    Thanks so much, I guess that I just needed to hear it... Each one of you helped me in a different way... So thanks... And wondergirl today I'll go to the library and start reading this book you recommended...
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #7

    Aug 1, 2013, 12:23 PM
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...fe-732465.html

    One of these guys or is this yet another one?
    luciana87's Avatar
    luciana87 Posts: 11, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Aug 2, 2013, 02:37 PM
    I was already broken up with the guy of the other story... I just needed to move on

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