Hi,

I am in love with a guy, we were together in college, at that time also we liked each other (in fact I was in love with him, but never let him know it).
After college we came into job and were in the same city, he proposed me then. But, knowing that his parents will never approve (we are Indian and of different caste), I always said 'No'. He said that he can fight with the whole world for me :)
That time there were many marriage proposals for me. But, he emotionally blackmailed me, saying that how can I do it with him, how can I destroy his life... bla bla bla (coz we were together for 3 months). Being an emotional fool, I rejected all the proposals, by making excuses. I told my mom that I can't conceive (to stop them requesting me to get married). This thing I said to few boys also whose proposals were there for me (such a shameless girl I was).
I committed to him after that. We were together for around 3 years. He used to call me his wife (and I trusted him). We used to sleep together and were somewhat physical (though never had sex actually). In fact, I started acting like his wife.
He convinced me that he will marry me at any cost.
After 3 years of our relationship he told me that he can't marry marry me because his father would die (his father is the biggest drama king on this earth and even he knows this). The whole family is the same. His sister begged in front of me not to marry some one else and later she also forgot it.
Anyway, then he broke up with me saying that he still loves me more than anything but nobody in this world can leave his parents because of a girls. He made me so many promises and then left me alone, crying, shaking in a corner. I tried to commit subside also. I hate him for all the things he did to me, for spoiling my whole life. But, I love him more than I hate him

The problem is that I still love him desperately and want him back at any cost. Rather I love him more that anybody, more than my parents.
God help me, what I am doing. It has been 2 years since our break up and I'm still crying over the split milk. He says that he loves me but can't marry me. Help me please, I want to die. I can't think of anybody, except him. Why does not he understand this.

Tough situation. But it seems like for the past two years, instead of trying to heal from this relationship, you have been after him the whole time and trying to figure out how to get him back, something that keep you from being able to move on. You need to go out and meet new people, see who else is in the market, suicide is never a good option because a lot of people hurt over it and it is an extremely selfish thing to do. Just live your live, concentrate on important things like work or go to school so that you are not thinking about this guy 24/7. Now, please keep in mind that is going to take some time, but eventually you will forget this guy and be OK by yourself, then maybe you can find someone else. If he is not willing to be with you because of his parents, then he doesn't really want to be with you that bad right? So stop begging him to do something he doesn't want to do.

Good Luck,
Javi

You had break up before two years and now also you are stuck with that.. In love we trust someone and give all our life to them but at end someone will play with our heart and leave us.Some people are like this,selfish.. He should not have promised you if he can't do that.. Neha did you follow the rules of NC?If not start doing it from today.. No contact is the only solution to get out of this or else you will stuck with this.. Life is very big and committing suicide is the biggest mistake.You will get someone who will be very true to you.. He moved on and you also have to move on whether you like it or not.. You will be fine after someday..

HI Neha,how are you?
Just sit and think for 5 minutes about your future if suppose you had to marry him.Now he had left you,OK fine,what will you do if he leaves you after marriage?Think of that first,what will happen to your life?
Think of your parents,then you will not get any confusing thoughts.
Concentrate on something which you like,pray well,God is always with you,everything will be fine as days go on.
All the best.
Be happy always.

You need professional help-find a therapist who can work with you to break this addiction you have to someone who's used you and hurt you.

You also need to go no contact with the ex-as in no more meeting up,phoning etc.

This will help you heal-now get active and start sorting your life out-don't let yourself stay in this mess.

You are a very lucky girl, and don't even know it. You are so busy trying to get a fellow who puts his family first, and has a whole family of drama queens. That would make married life quite miserable with him.

Thank your God you have dodge this bullet, heal from your heart break by having nothing else to do with this fellow, and build a good life without him in it for yourself, and make better choices about love and romance for yourself.

When you have healed properly, you will see much better options, and opportunities to be happy.

Thank you all for giving me support...
I have been trying but unable to come over it... Why did he leave me... why he chose his family over me.. why he gave up fighting... why he accepted marrying another girl.. why is so weak to accept his family's decision... we could have made it if we talked but he just told me his decision... I just can't live without him... why can't he feel the pain I am suffering through... Was not I a part of him like his family when he called me his wife... I am mentally disturbed too and have pain in my body all the time like some one is pressing me hard... I am really unable to live without him...

Again,Neha,have you seen a doctor?

You need to get help to get yourself in a more stable place.

He says that he still loves me and will always love me, it is just that he could not convert his love into marriage... when I ask him that why he destroyed my life... he never has any answer. If he loves me then how could he see me in this condition... why can't he still try to get married to me

Yes, I am seeing a doctor... but not of much help :(