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He won't be engaged to me because he still thinks of his ex
I'm really having a hard time dealing with this because we are supposed to move to a bigger city in the next 8 months and I need to be engaged because I don't just want to "move in". I'm not that type of person. We have been seeing each other for over a year and he first said it was fine with him when we first started talking about moving together a few months ago. And getting engaged. Last night I brought up the engagement and he now says he doesn't know if he can because he's not sure if he's ready for that kind of commitment? We went more into depth about it and he still thinks about the time he was engaged to his ex girlfriend. Now I'm not asking to get married today I really prefer a long engagement(very long). I don't want to pressure him but we are at that age to be settling down. I'm 21 he's 24. I feel very hurt by this because I have nothing to do with his past and I feel like I'm getting the short end. Please help!
-Karma came back |
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I think he knew back when you brought it up the first time that he wasn't ready for that kind of commitment but said OK because when it would happen was still pretty up in the air. Now that you are pressuring him into a time frame he has decided to tell you he's not ready for it. He's not and for whatever reason doesn't really matter. He's been down the engagement road once before and it didn't workout... So maybe he just wants to be 100% sure before he goes down that road again. A year of dating isn't all that long, and what's wrong with living together before getting engaged. Living together before you get engaged seems like a pretty good way to gauge whether you are really compatible for the long run. He's told you how he honestly feels, its now up to you to decide whether you can accept this, either move on separately or continue to build on what you have so that maybe one day he is ready... I think you should go with the latter of the two. And also, I would hardly say that 21 or 24 is an age that you should be settling down. Maybe 30 years ago... you're young and there is still much to accomplish. All the best. |
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