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    foxglove's Avatar
    foxglove Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 9, 2007, 01:15 PM
    He wants to be single but still loves me
    After being with him for 10 months and having an amzin time he decides out of the blue he wants to be single and be one for the guys again. Obviously this breaks my heart and I still love him but he says he wants to be single. All he can tell me is how beautiful I am and how much he loves spendin time with me and he loves me, I know what your thinking its all a lie he's got someone else but I trust him when he says he doesn't. I have to see him everyday and I can't think about anything else but him. I know I'm being pathetic but I truly love him I don't want him to get back with me because he feels sorry for me. If he still loves me and I still love him how can I get us back together without seeming desperate?
    Everyone tells me that he will come running back in a week or so but I don't want to get my hopes up in case he doesn't.
    Please can someone tell me how I can get him back?
    manimuth's Avatar
    manimuth Posts: 261, Reputation: 60
    Full Member
     
    #2

    Mar 9, 2007, 01:36 PM
    foxglove,
    I know you are in a lot of pain right now and that is perfectly OK. But, please do not invest your energy and feelings in trying to get back someone who has already made a decision to leave. Whatever his reasons (he can still love you), he has made a choice for himself. Do not try to change his mind for him. If you end up convincing him to get back with you, it will not be by his own will and reasons. He can, also, feel like his hand was forced and resent you for it.
    So, please just leave him alone. Go through all of the emotions you feel. Cry your heart out and be depressed. You will get through it. Since he has made a decision to move on, you should move on with your own life. Try your best to avoid seeing him or talking to him during this time.
    Also, it is up to you to decide whether you want to wait around for him to have his fun and then come back to you (IF he comes back). As hard as it will be, I suggest you get on with your own life.
    p.s. There are other posts on this site about how to best pick yourself up and move on after a relationship is over.
    Good luck.
    Lowtax4eva's Avatar
    Lowtax4eva Posts: 2,467, Reputation: 190
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Mar 9, 2007, 01:49 PM
    As with the above, it's probably time to move on. He may not have someone else right now but he wants to spend time alone, with his friends and then most likely start dating (if he hasn't already).

    He's not worth your time, his reason to break up is ridiculous, to spend time with his friends, he just doesn't want to have an awkward conversation and tell you what he really wants to break up for.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Mar 9, 2007, 02:38 PM
    Things were fantastic and all of a sudden boom?? How old are you guys and why do you have to see him everyday, work, school? Your post is vague.
    Julie25's Avatar
    Julie25 Posts: 37, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Mar 9, 2007, 02:47 PM
    I agree definitely with all the advice. 3 months ago my boyfriend of 6 yrs wanted a break, we were fighting all the time, and what used to be fun times just ended in arguments and us going to be angry all the time.. we took a break, however we were still intimate once ina while and talked everyday via email and almost everday over the phone. On what would've been our 6 yr anniversary we got back together. IT was a much needed rest for both of us to talk things out and make sure this is what we both wanted.
    I cried all the time, and was absolutely miserable. But I wrapped myself up with work, friends and my two children. I got through it. He got through it. I kind of think it was a midlife crisis... he is almost 39 and has had a lot of stress on his mind. I just added to it.
    Now everything is going pretty well. I am learning how to communicate better and see things from both sides instead of just mine and vise versa. Give it sometime, if it is meant to be he will come back. As the advice said above, forcing will not get you anywhere.. When I quit pushing the issue of getting back together, he came back.

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